About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

April 6, 2010

Okay lets try this again lol

Sigh I'm sorry that I havent been on. The reason for this is because my internet got cut off and the uncle wants to turn it back on.. but thats kinda stupid. If he cant pay our bill for a month what makes him think that he can pay that and pay off our bill? Sometimes he doesnt think things through and just puts more money out which is stupid. Lately ive been letting my anger come out, no more nice lady anymore to him. Hes been doing mind games to the fullest. Acting like hes having a panic attack or hes going to have a heart attack when we need to get a little bit of food, and comes home talks to his sister and hes fine. Jumping and skipping and all cheery. Why play these mind games? Hm probably because he is acting more and more like his brother,jay. Swindling everyone out of their money and he gets everything handed to him on a golden plate.
Ill give you an example of this stuff. Okay you know Sunday was easter and he kept pushing this elaborate feast on us and I kept telling him its going to be about fifty dollars or so and he said oh okay. So we go out and we get the stuff and he tells me only to get two cans of pineapple. Well you should know if you do it my way,, you get a huge ham two cans of pineapple isnt going to cut it, so I ignore him and put in a third can. I look him in the eyes and I already see hes doing the huffy puffy thing like hes going to have a heart attack. Sure enough I counted to ten in my head and rounded the corner to where the ham was at and said we are going to have to leave and stuff because he was going to have a heart attack. Sorry when someone plays lots of mind games on you, you just laugh at them and thats what I did. I snorted and rolled my eyes. Said well if you are going to have a heart attack then go to the hospital. Hes pretty stupid because he would be flown to helena and then how will he get back home? Hmm he wouldnt so he really needs to stop that shit. Anyways get back home from getting the bread, juice and somethings and he talks to his sister and hes all cheery, no heart attack of the sort.
So why do this? He gets a full paycheck each week now and hes making our food even cheaper than what we are spending. We spend ten dollars but now he wants us to spend five dollars for meals to last for about three to four days and five dollars isnt going to get you anywhere and with me and my fiance that would be um only two fifty per person. Who in their right mind makes a meal for two dollars and fifty cents. Um no one. So why does he think we will keep that for at least three to four days. He has his sister Nancy paying the mortage and whatever else he needs help with, the pastor next door only pays two hundred and so where does his money go? Um to more food for him because in about six months or so nothing has been paid really by him. And he ran up our bill on the internet and saying he wants it back on. I'm really tired of it and him whispering and sayiing he cant say stuff here like its about me. For some reason he hates me, probably because he is bitter about girls but that is no way to treat me. Ive been treated rotten in my life and I'm not going to have a free loading uncle do this to me all because I'm a girl who loves my fiance. If he doesnt like it tough tits don't take it out on me. Ive been way nicer to him, paying way more than what was expected of me. Paying five hundred dollars for a small bedroom, and everything else on top and treating him out everyday. He is a selfish egotistical pig that wants everything on a platter and I'm not doing that.
My motto is if you have two hands and two feet that work then you can do it. But now on to what I was really going to write about now, I got this book from the library and its called Yellow Star by Jennifer Roy and its about Jennifer's aunt who was only four and half years old who went into the ghetto. This book made me cry twice and lots of things went through my mind. This little girl went through some hard times and was very very brave. This kinda reminded me of my great aunt, Aunt ronnie we call her when she went into the camps. But this girl I think by far, that God was looking out for her family. They went to the ghetto and they never went to camps. Well they were suppose to but her father had a gut feeling not to go and instead used his brain and hide them. It was amazing how they got around the Nazis and amazed and awe that God truly looked out for them. There were a lot of times that they would be seperated but God was there helping that family get through those years. I recommend this book. I know its a children book but it a really good book. This kinda raised thoughts about how did my great aunt get out the camps and the only one surviing it out of our family. I think I tried asking her but she wouldnt want to talk about it. So I kept quiet but I love reading books like this because it kinda gives me answers to some of my questions that I had in my head for years.
Okay next thing on topic, my story. Ive been working on it and got chapter six done. I went over it and think its pretty good so I will post it when I can get to the library and post it for you guys. I'm now writing chapter seven and kinda iffy on it. Its taking some time but coming slowly out of me. Also my cross stitching is coming along, I'm now working on the flowers which that took me oh about a few months to do that. Finally finished the bamboo which I got sick and tired of the same colors lol. Also so now my bdsm lifestyle. Oh man I love it. This past week has been a lot for me.
It has kept me in balance and I love every moment of it. Lets see Daddy has been strict and I think I love it a lot. He has ordered me to be good but you know sometimes I can tbe good and get punished. He has been using the hairbrush on me..it hurts but I love the feel of it. Also been doing vampire kisses lol biting my lips breasts, arms and anything else to keep me in line. I love pleasuring him and how it feels for me as well. It makes me feel like a good little girl that needs a lot of training at times but I have come a long way from when I first time I met him. I look back and see that I was a timid girl who didnt want anyone in her life. Now I see that I have changed a lot in the past three years of knowing him. Sometimes it scares me and wonder if being shy and not knowing or letting anyone in is better in the end or not. I love being me and how I have grown and changed in the past few years. Looking back kinda shocks me on how much ive grown in the short three years. Okay lol Daddy is telling me its time to stop writing and go to bed. Sigh I have so much to write but I cant do it. I guess later for another time. I know I write to much lol but I will talk to you guys later. Have sorta big day, hoping that we can get a job and get out of this hell hole. Please pray for us. Thanks talk to you soon. Ariabelle

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