About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

December 30, 2010

Worried. Once again. Sigh

Well i just found out by Daddy/fiancée that our electric may be cut off in ten days. So now im worried about this. I need prayer for one and two i just need someone or something to calm me down. Im not sure what to even say, let alone do. I just hope God will help us with this and with food as well. I guess this is all i have to say for now.

December 29, 2010

Movie Review...on Dorian Gray

Well, i just watched Dorian Gray and i must say: I'm still kinda iffy on this movie. I like the message about how evil will corrupt your soul, even if you can't see it on the outside. However, what i didn't like about the entire movie- is that Lord Henry was a pretty fickle person, always instigating the main character into doing things. And when finally the main character tells him: he corrupted him- hes like oh well, and changes in a way. I really love Lord Henry's Character in other things such as: Girl With A Pearl Earring and Valmont, but this one was a horrible character choice for him. I will be getting rid of this movie, it was alright on some level- but then again, not a movie i will see again.

December 15, 2010

Some more thoughts of mine :)

Well i watched the third Narnia movie today and i must say it was alright. It went pretty slow and when they said it was more visual they were right. They i mean IMDB and others who also saw the trailers and what not. I was disappointed to not see Aslan a lot..sigh which i loved because you can feel the love being poured out of the screen :) But if i had to recommend a movie it would be the first one.. and not the other two.. which are alright but sorta not good as well.

Next subject.. finally got back to being cold.. which im freezing right now.. but i haven't really been on because of a lot of stuff going down. Just have to fight with fiancée uncle to get any kind of food.. and praying and talking to God about what is going on with my fears and worries. I should give it to him but i dont know why i keep bringing them back to me. Maybe so i can feel that im in control of my life when really i know that God is. Maybe its the insecurity that i have.. and was raised to feel like that.. It has been hard trying to change who i am.. to be a better person four years ago. I know i have changed but i still a long ways to go. Sigh im hoping that i can be Good in God's eyes and even in fiancées eyes. I dont want to be a failure to anyone else in my life.

Also been trying to find people in the lifestyle who can be friends and if not more than that. But that will probably never happen because almost everyone in this lifestyle is or are crazy. I havent met a decent Master since Daddy. Maybe that is a good thing anyways. Ive been getting to know some of the slaves and it makes me open my eyes up more that Me and daddy are soul mates. That we belong with each other. Even though i feel crazy for the most part.. but he is the only one other than God who knows me better than i do. I dont think i will ever find anyone else like that in thsi world. I thank God for giving me him and to change and shape me into the person i have become over the years. And what will come. :)

I guess that is what is going on in my head lately. Also some times cutting creeps into my head but i have to be strong and to over come this disease i made. I know im not perfect but i can control what i will do. And this will not consume me.. I am a fighter and always will be. If i ever give up something has snapped and i am not me.. and something else took over me. Anyways thats it for now. :) Ariabelle