About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

January 31, 2011

My thoughts on somethings.....

Well i haven't been able to get on as i like too, but i finished Memoirs of Cleopatra, by Margaret George. And i must say, ive written a couple of things on it, while i was reading it. I know i know, the thing im going to paste is comparing her to Elizabeth Tudor, but i only did so, because people has always said, that Cleopatra was a great ruler, and only Elizabeth Tudor came into my mind, she is the only one who has done a great job in ruling. SO here is what i thought of the book, and i will add one more thing before i paste it, I think that Margaret George did a good job in writing the history on her, but do not agree with the one thing i stated before hand. :)

About the book im reading, Memoir of Cleopatra, is sorta getting on my nerves. Only thinking she is a true queen but not loving her people and etc. Only wanting human love and need a man to make that happen. In these areas she isnt strong at all, just a weak woman for those days, and cant governor her people without a male at her side. okay so here is the stuff before hand.

In my wallet,.....
comparison to Elizabeth Tudor and her

In the beginning of reading this book, it took me almost 6 months to pick this book back up. That's how boring Cleopatra's earlier childhood was to me. Was almost like the rest of the historical books went but this one seemed dull to me. I wonder why George made it boring? Since her other biographies are really interesting. Im about a third into the book and finally it has picked up a lot. Thankgoodness for that. It is pretty interesting that Cleopatra is sorta like Elizabeth Tudor, in a sense. But then it is only a few things.

Like some aspects, Cleopatra and Elizabeth did rule as queens, with good heads on their shoulders.-- but after almost half way through with it, i dont think cleopatra is ruling with a good head anymore.

I think both are independent-well not anymore. and have minds of their own, and again not what i thought of in the beginning.

Had lovers in secret, well cleopatra had sorta with caesar but then came public. While elizabeth everyone knew that her lover but didnt really say anything about it. It was hidden all the while. Only her few, trusted people knew.
both loved their land more so than the husbands/lovers. but then again cleopatra is more for the husbands and not her land.

now the opposites

Cleopatra ruled with husbands.
Eliazbeth didnt. She married the church.

Cleopatra had children, four to be exact.
Elizabeth didnt have children, but was rumored to have

Cleopatra was/is compared to Isis and other titles.and believes in the gods/goddess.
Elizabeth was called the Virgin Queen and she believed in God.

Cleopatra didnt understand nor how to combat war.
Elizabeth did, she was fierce in all things as a boy should.

Cleopatra indulged in her feminine side, like sex,clothes,and etc.
Elizabeth indulged in her masculine side. Loved hunting,riding, entertainment,fashion was her only feminine thing she loved.

I think the reason i like Cleopatra is because she is sorta like Elizabeth but in her own time. And after reading further into the book, i see that my interest has faded completely. I will read the rest of the book and will lay rest that scratch i had itched.

i think reading more about these historical figures kinda give you a deeper look into who they were, how they lived their lives, ruled and etc.

It gives me great pleasure to read and soak in as much as possible about these people, because i feel like they are a part of me. Almost feels like its part of my lineage and i must know more, must research until i can fill this thirst of mine.

January 7, 2011

Exhausted from Evil people

Well lately just people in chat rooms and in actual life are fucking mean. Its all i'm getting lately. It's like God is showing me how evil they are and that i shouldn't be talking to them. I think im going to quit the internet and yahoo and what not completely. I'm truly tired of all the bullshit and what not going on. This is my fill of things for a while. Anyways im just very exhausted from all this stuff within a week. Maybe will update im not sure what i will be doing. Thinking i may just do this and Facebook and thats about it. My thoughts for now.

January 4, 2011

Dreams I've had yesterday and today


Well I had this nightmare last night. It was really scary and real. Okay it was me, family, and others. In the beginning of the dream I was walking in the woods. It was snowing out, and it was sorta in the 1800's I think. Was walking to get somethings, and this thing comes up to me. Bit my neck or what not and I turned into a vampire. We slept outside that night, and wolves were swarming us, but it felt really comforting. After that, I awoke to see a farm and a family there. They were up, and had a gun in my face. They kidnapped me, and took me inside the house. I was frighten, and they told me that I was going to cook and do what they wanted. I was fighting against it, and the father took me outside, and proceeds to shoot me, in my arm, upper left thigh, and the left side of my temple. These wounds were shallow, but I knew the arm he shattered the bone. The bullets were coming out of the wounds, I had to pick, and pull them out. It hurt really bad. After this, he takes me back in, and proceeds to make me bend on the couch, and rapes me. All that time I was only worried about my arm hurting. After he was done, he tells his son to rape me, and then said after that to feed the dogs. I just wanted my arm to get taken care of, but it never did. I tried doing my best on cleaning and what not, and I was defying every little thing because I knew sometime, they were going to be done with me, and kill me. So I needed to do something in order to stay alive. Days turn into weeks, and the arm was festering pretty bad. It switched to another scene that I was in my room, had a computer, and I got on it. It logged me on, and it showed how much time I could be on. I went to a site, where I could call police or tell someone to call the police. I clicked out of the window, and then cleared the history so no one could see what I was up too. Then after that, the mother of the family had somehow changed and wanted to help me out, so she tells her husband that they need to go out and do somethings. The whole family went, had two cars, father and the sons, went in a white jeep, while me and the mother was in the other white car. We were behind them, and waited for a time to break and go to the hospital. We did, and I look behind, being nervous that the father will find out, and of course he did, was chasing us. Right at that point, I woke up.

Now what a pretty vivid dream. I woke up after the chase scene and my arm was throbbing really bad. It felt like it was real. I look down at my arm and the only thing there was a huge imprint of my rings. I could barely do anything with my arm for about four hours. I thought for sure it had happened, but it didnt. I wonder why these dreams where I get shot at, always turn out to be so freakin real.

Weird Dream-

Today I had a very strange but calming dream. It was me and some other people. I remember that we were in a grocery store but I was sorta posing, flirting with girls. Not sure why I was doing that, but I was having fun. Then it switched to where I was at home, getting ready for school. I was telling my sister and others who where there, to hurry up or they will miss the bus. They were not listening to I just got ready and went out. I went out and the deck was remodeled and was different in a way. I just ignored it and just went on. I get off the deck and I see that our house was transformed. Into this beautiful Parthenon and it was on its own little island. There was mostly water, but lots and lots of green grass. It was really beautiful, and also a bridge was there as well, once I have dreamt a couple of times in the past. The little island had quite a bit of water and that is all I remember of the dream.

Now I'm not sure why I dreamt this dream at all. It was a little different than most dreams I have. Most of them are like the nightmare above, or things from God, trying to tell me what is going on. I'm not sure if this is from God, but maybe it is. This dream was very peaceful and calming. I will just see how it was. It was better than the real vivid dream I had the day before. But these are some of many strange dreams I have.

Thoughts for today

Sigh well why do i always try to make friends, and they always turn out to be fakes, pity party people and etc? I try giving them a chance but it never goes the way i want it to. Which is to find a friend that is sorta like me. Guess that will never happen since most people in this world are the same. Im just an oddball who will never have friends. Hm maybe that is a blessing in disguise. I will be hearing it later today, I told you so by Daddy/fiancée.

On another note.....

i have been really worried lately. I think the electric will be cut off soon, since someone doesnt want to pay it at all. That has been going through my mind so much this week that i have to hide it from Daddy/fiancee. I dont want to but i don't want him worrying about me. Already enough burden on his shoulders.

Then we find out that this month maybe in another week or so we will know about the ssi stuff. If he will get it or not. Im nervous on that, but im not sure why, because i know we will get it. Been praying all this time and i have this feeling in my bones that we will get it. Would help so much and help him get on medical as well. Im trying so hard to lean on God, at times its very hard to do that but i do it. :) but i guess that is all i have to say for now. I think thats whats on my mind for now.