About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

February 22, 2011

Bound to a delusional World Poem

I.
What happened to this poor girl?
For her to break apart so easily
to wander in the cold depths of loneliness
of nothingness inside herself

that makes her wander this lonely road called home
to only find questions that are never answered

questions of unspoken desires
of unspoken dreams
that are impossible to fulfill this time around

Unspoken hopes that will never rise again
inside this broken creature who
struggles to find a place she can call home
she can say I'm at peace
I'm still now, no more wandering
though this ugly world by myself

yet she knows this is just fantasy
she knows they are just illusions
she has painted deep inside her soul

To comfort her spirit for the time being
So she wont have to pick herself up again
and walk this lonely world once again

To find home
To find who she is
To find what she is suppose to do

Will this ever happen?
Will any of her hopes
her dreams ever come true?

Or are they always going to be
broken, squashed to hopelessness?

She has always wondered will there be a place
in someone's heart, that can be home?
That she can sit quietly
and have to put up anymore walls
to safeguard her being?

Will that ever come true?
If not, What is to become of this girl?

If nothing will truly snap her out
of this so called shattered daze?

Will she be able to move on
and live like she has done so many times

to only take care of herself and the one she really loves?
Or will this not happen, and this false illusion crumbles/shatters before her very eyes?
Will she be able to stand up again?

II.
Will she ever break the cold hard chains
that bind her heart
to this so called world?

that only grievance, misery, destitute
flourishes wildly in the waking dreams
she calls her memories

lost souls chide to her quick of life
You have false illusions
You have false memories
of what your life really was like

You had family and friends
that loved you so much

yet you threw it all away
Changing your personality
into this monster that you call
your true self today

Why do these thoughts, souls
chide to my being?
when all I want
is my heart to be still
my head cleared of haunting nightmares
that replay memories
that I want to simply wash from my mind

Blocking/erasing those memories
only takes away the impure imprints
that was branded inside
this meek creature
who's suppose to be human
yet inside her wires are
crossed with conflictions

Her mind programmed
to please others
but is this what she wants?

To be ordered around?
To serve those she despise so much?
In order to get on with life

But if she does this
her heart will always
be a broken watch

that will never tick
to the beat of her soul

Is this truly what she wants?
Is this the only way
people will love this doll?
Will this be the only way
to get noticed?

Is to be bound to a place that will never be a home?
Just to walk in the shadowy depths of a broken home?
Of a broken body?

What will it take
for her to rewrite her programmed body?
To what she wants in life
To do what she wants
to please herself instead of others

These maybe options for her to ponder on
though she knows already that this will never be

Yet a few things she will change deep inside her soul
is to please those that love her
to please herself, in order to find happiness
that should have been imprinted
a very long time ago

Maybe in the future
she will find a place , she can call home
and live a normal life,without any programming
without any doubts inside her soul

Hopefully she will be able to move on with life
to live her life the way she wants
and be happy for once
in her life.

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