About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

February 4, 2011

Pondering what could be and would be Poem

How can fantasy be so different from reality
taking you to dimensions you never seen

erasing all memories of another life
that was at some point a part of yourself

How can a blink of an eye, just disappear
without a cry?

People have said, Hope will give you all the things you need in life
yet this doesn’t comfort who I am

I know in my heart, that hope just puts fiction
into your knowledge of life
building up lies and delusions
for a future that will never be

Yet how can these people
give word to these utter lies?

Does this sit well inside their souls?
Does this make them a better person?
Thinking that this will make them who they are today?

I really don't have that answer
only a sinking doubt of turmoil
that resides inside this pitiful little girl

I have dreamed and wished
that all things would be better

But here again, fantasy and reality
are altogether just a spiraling doom

I wake up from hellish nightmares
chasing away hopes and dreams
that were once inside this girl
only to substitute those feelings into
what was suppose to be

Maybe I'm making things up
like some have put into this deflated head

I sit here, pondering on what could be and would be
thinking sure, life is grand

yet the world around me
crashes into a grimsome tomb

encaging this once magnificent butterfly
to dreams that will never come to be
only to put in her, what a world she sees instead

how can she make this go away?
Is this reality? Or is this a nightmare as well
to never be let free of the things that hold her down?

She has believed that this world she lives in
is just a test, that God will surly come for her
and whisk her away to Heaven

making all these illusions of her so called life
just a mere nightmare, that she couldnt wake up from

Maybe this is doubt again, creeping inside
like an acid that spills from deep inside.

Who knows these answers
that haunt her ever waking body?

Who can heal her
from a bitter and angry torment
that is slowly consuming who she is

Is there any relief to these kind of burdens?
Is there any comfort of knowing what will come
and what will not?
Will any lies quiet my mind and comfort my broken heart?

When I finally come out of a delusional state
I know that none of these questions lie within myself
but only come forward, when someone asks me these things
only will I let myself sink further into this depression

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