About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

June 26, 2011

A lot of things on my mind..

Okay this will be a rant today. Today has been a little tedious for me. Went shopping today and of course im in long sleeves and another shirt and i still burn. Like what the hell. I put on long sleeves so i wouldnt get burnt. Okay so go to Wal-Mart and there is no carts. Had to go back to the damn car and get one. Then i have everyone in Wal-Mart looking at me like im crazy. Then i get home and talking a bit on wire club. Get a request and thought it would be a nice person, boy was i wrong. He messages me and starts talking about rape fantasies and doing it to me. I chew his ass out because i have been through real rape and it still triggers a lot of things. So he messages back and acts like he knows all about BDSm and puts it with rape. Again i chew him out, saying that he just needs to back off. Admit that he doesnt know anything about it and leave it at that. But no, since dumb people have too much pride to say they were in the wrong, and keeps going on about it. Saying that im a slave but i dont like rape. HEllo they are two different things. Sure some girls like rape fantasies but i am not one of them, since i have been through real rape. It would trigger a lot of things, but of course he wont know any of that because he is being an asswipe and want to start things.

I try not to let people mess with me, but that does. It brings up a lot of memories and its hard to just ignore them whenever they pop up. I wish that i could erase them and make some new ones but if i didnt go through everything that i did, i would not be the same person as i am right now. I am glad that i went through that stuff, shows how strong i have become, how much i have grown and etc but some days like this, it really bites to see that. I try and tell my mind all the good i have done, but sometimes its a bit more stubborn than i am. I know i have gotten through the memories, gotten through all the hurt with that but some of the scars are still there and will be, so things like that will trigger them at times.

But i wanted to rant today about what im thinking and feeling at the moment. Lots of stuff going on, lots of worries that im trying to put behind me and hoping that God will help out soon enough. But hm on the other hand, the D/s relationship is going a bit slow. I think its just all the stress and worries getting to Daddy and I so its a bit slow. Hm i think that is all i have to say for now.

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