About Me

My photo
I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

June 26, 2011

What my collar means to me letter to Daddy

*This is a letter to Daddy for O/our Anniversary. And also how i feel and my thoughts when i put my collar on each and every day.*

My collar means the world to me. It represents my love, my trust,my honesty is bound to my Master. My collar holds all that is dear to me. When i look at my collar, memories come back. Reflecting how much we have went through. How much our bound has grown and shaped. It shows my loyalty shows my love when i wear my collar. Shows that i am bound to you for the rest of my life. I give you my life into your hands because i know that you care for me deeply.

So many memories pop up when i wear my collar, but i wear it proud beacuse it shows how much i/W/we've put into this relationship. To this day i still dont know why you put up with me. Put up with my temper at times, put up with my rowdiness, put up with my stubborness. Sometimes i lay awake at night, watching you sleep and wonder why you put up with me. Why you love me so much and want to grow and learn with me. I wonder at times why you pick me out of everyone you have known to stay with me, to love me and make me your slave. What is so special about me that you see in me?

When i think about my collar, my slave bangel and rings, i feel a proudness that I AM YOUR SLAVE. It shows me how much you love me, how much you care for me. Even at my worse you are still there guiding me when im at my lowest. You are there when i truly need you and it makes me cry, happy tears of course that you are the only one in my life who will do that. And days like this, my fear rises up and think that you will leave me. I push it down each and every day. Saying to myself, you are different, you are the one that God put in my life. The one to change everything in and about my life. So why does that pop up at times? Maybe its just my instincts, how i was brought up, but of course you know this.

I want you to know how much you have helped me. Before you met me, i was severly depressed. I had no one really to talk too. The friends i did have in my life were never there. Never wanted to help me in my darkest times.I didnt know where to go. I prayed and talked to God a lot but i still had that emptiness. I knew that i still didnt have anyone in my life who truly cared for me and wanted to see me happy. To see me, be me. I thought in those few minutes before you met me, if i couldnt find anyone who really wanted me alive, i would just hurt myself pretty bad. Just break myself competely from this world and just accept my life would be horrible. But within those two minutes of thinking, of praying you imed me. I was so confused at the time so when you pmed me, i didnt really hold my breath. For a few i said okay this will be the same. Just a waste of my time, but the more i got to talking to you, i dont know. I just had this feeling, this security i never had. I loved it so much, and we became friends, very good friends. And after that when the months kept going and we kept talking and getting more and more involved with each other, i fell in love with you.

I wasnt expecting that. I merely wanted a friend who could just listen and help me when i needed it and vise versa. But you were and are the first and only person who truly listened to me. You were the only one there to offer help, to offer comfort in my time of need. I knew i could trust you with my life, i knew that i could talk about anything without fearing you would use it against me. I didnt have to cringe and think you will talk to my family and get me into trouble. I knew i could trust you as a friend as a lover. For some reason around three months in the relationship, but i felt like i have known you all my life. I already knew that you were my other half i have been looking for. I was just so surprised to see it so soon and so fast.

You have changed my world and i thank you for that. If you werent in my life, it would be worse than what it is today. I would not be myself, not be competely sane,stubborn and with a spirit. Not only have you changed me on the outside but you have competely changed me inside.
My thinking is competely changed now.Instead of all the negative thoughts that go through my mind so many tmes but now i put my mind onto brighter things. Our special memories that we've made together. You have taken most of my ugly memories away and replaced them with your love, your trust, your honesty and you being what i truly need. A Daddy and lover a friend. All of those in one. I cant not thank you enough for changing me competely. I feel so much healthier than what i was four years ago. I feel so much happier, so much alive than, when i was living at my old home.

I love you with all my heart and soul and i am completely bound to you. I am proud to say that Im YOUR SLAVE. You are the only one in my life who i will love forever, who will always obey you. To grow old with you, to raise children with. You mean so much to me. And when i put my collar on, all of this goes through my head. And it makes me hold it up high and shine with your love. You are my everything and happy anniversary Daddy.

Love you with all my heart and soul, Ashpea

No comments:

Post a Comment