About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

June 27, 2011

What's on my mind for today

okay where do i start. I know for one this will be a rant of what is on my mind right now. I know also that I'm in the mood to type and write a lot. Ive been wanting to write on this for a while, just didn't have the inspiration nor the time to write anything on it. Okay of course this is a topic on the B.D.S.M lifestyle. :D So bare with me.

Okay i started going back on Collarme, to find friends and to talk to people since wire club is being stupid enough teens on it. Yes, i know, i have said multiple times that Collarme is the same way, but i dont know, guess i need a different pace. Well maybe i am wrong but i don't know. Anyways, was looking through the profiles to see who would be cool to get to know and etc. And i keep coming across profiles that say: "to use and abuse" "Slaves who are property and know that they are". This kinda upsets me to still see this. Yes i have made a comment on this on my collarme account and of course i am doing it again, but this is going else where.

Okay here is the start of my rant. I am a little upset but more upset than anything. I still see that there are posers, fakes in the lifestyle. People who truly think that abusing is part of the lifestyle and also the property part as well. See as you all know, i am a slave in the lifestyle and you may have not known but i have been abused for almost all my life. So this does hit a patch with me that i tend to not and try to think about.

But anyways to the ones who say, "to use and abuse", this really irks me.If you have ever been in an abused home or been abused by anyone then you know what abuse and B.D.S.M is about. IF you are in it, i mean. Abused is for those who do not have a right to say no when they are being abused. People who are in it are isolated and are pretty much by themselves. So when someone says,"use to abuse" you really shouldn't be in the lifestyle. The whole point of B.D.S.M is that it is consensual. You should know what that word means. It does not mean to take the power, it does not say to abuse the slaves/subs in the lifestyle. But in fact is a choice for the slaves/subs to be in the lifestyle and to choose to have a Master/Mistress in the lifestyle. That doesn't mean you should be a matt. It doesn't mean that you will be used with any force that you do not allow.

Why do people think it is alright to abuse people in the lifestyle?I've had it a couple of times, Masters saying well they are the bottom and do exactly what the Master does. That isn't true. Because it is a choice of their WILL to whom they want to serve. It is a mutual agreement, not one sided. The ones who think like this i hate to say it, are Fakes and posers. If you do not know exactly what you are doing then i think you should step back and learn about B.D.S.M a lot more before ever experiencing in it. Yes it is power exchange, but it is consent on both or more parties that are in it. Doesn't mean you can take whatever you please. That is being on the abusive side and that isn't what B.D.S.M is about.

Okay next part of the rant. The ones who think that all slaves/subs are property. Hm now this makes me mad as well. Since my feminist ways come out a little but i think its also because of the rapes and stuff that has happened in my life that brings this out. WE HAVE A RIGHT TO OUR BODIES. WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO LET YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT AND ETC BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE ARE PROPERTY. That part really annoys me. We arnt meat on sale to be eaten or to be looked upon. Being a slave is so much more than just looking pretty for O/our Masters/Mistresses but to please them and make them happy. There is more things than being property,if you are thinking in those lines.

I truly think that you have to have a clear mind and a lot of understanding of what B.D.S.M is truly about. It isn't about sex and it isn't about taking power. It is consent of giving up O/our power for O/our Masters/Mistresses. The people, and yes, many Slaves/subs who have said it a lot on Collarme and other places to be used and abused, truly don't want that. You know why? Because me and Daddy have talked to women who act like slaves and said this, and they get exactly what they want. You know what that is? A controlling abusive person. And they whine saying its not what they wanted. Then clearly you should know the definitions to both and know that they are two different things.

I advise the ones out there who think this, you really need to learn before you speak. Think of the consequences before you even type those words. Because in the end you will regret it. And who will you blame? Probably not yourself, but the people who treated you like dirt. So again, think before you speak,type or whatever and maybe you will have a better experience in the B.D.S.M lifestyle.

I think that sums up what i was thinking on that. On to other important things. I haven't been doing to well the past few days. I have some how hurt my foot. Put any pressure on the toe and i collapse from the pain. I'm not even sure how i hurt it. I'm hoping that it is a sprain and will go away in a few days. Or i may have to see what i can do for it.

Also, kinda finding out that some of my suppressed memories are trying to surface. But i guess its been like this off and on for about thirteen years. I keep hearing mumblings of guys around the house, and i think its the t.v on and go to check it out and nothing is on. Ive been experiencing this since i was ten years old. I don't know if it will ever go away but it kinda startles me. It makes me loose sleep and makes me very anxious. I really don't want to deal with the memories that are being suppressed. probably why they are like that. But i just don't think i can handle them right now. I know some of them wants to come up, but its like just go away. It seems like it only comes out when I'm really nervous, angry or sleep deprived for a while. So who knows what the heck i can do for that.
I really don't want to go and see someone, since no one really helps me anyways.

Oh, almost forgot. I'm still reading The Invisible Ring by Anne Bishop. I must say it is one of her boring books i have read. Ive been reading it for about a month now, and I'm thinking okay it can just end now. It is very slow and just kinda drags for me. It is very different from her other Black Jewel books and i wont recommend anyone reading it. Read her other books in the Black Jewel trilogy. I'm still trying to give the book a chance, but it looks like its not going to happen. Who knows maybe it will, until it does i will just keep going at a slow pace with it.

Other than that things are going okay, i hope they are. Seems like everything else is fine till something else pops up. I think that was all i wanted to say and to get things off my chest, since it has been bugging me for a bit. Until next time......

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