About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

July 10, 2011

Today isnt my day....

Okay I'm going to try this one more time before i completely give up. Not in the mood for it to keep wiping whatever i post. So this is my last time in trying this.

okay, so where was i. oh yea, I'm not having a good day at all. I didn't get that much sleep last night and when i did get to bed i had nightmares. I just want for once in my life, not to have nightmares at all. That is a wish that will never be granted.

So after I'm finally awake, I'm still not feeling so well, but had to get food. Oh fun,not. So i thought today would be a good day to go, since a lot of the dumb ass people would go to the Folk Festival. Boy was i wrong on that. Get to wal-mart and every aisle i went down, everyone just had to go there as well and get in my damn way. At one point i was intentionally going to run over this one lady. She just stood in the middle of the aisle staring at me, like I'm the crazy one,so i thought, fine you want to see a crazy person, you got one. Finally got our food and went to Taco bell, since I'm not in the mood to cook tonight.

After that we are on our way home. Yay, i thought since I'm not feeling so well. Well the dumb ass uncle hits a huge pot hole and about three seconds later the car starts stalling. Oh great, i thought, this is just what i need. So we are basically gliding for now, and Daddy says just pull it over on the side of the road. Does the uncle listen, nope, he keeps going and thinks hey we can get up this hill. okay, you do the math. A car that isn't going and a huge hill, which will win? Ding, ding, the hill wins. You know why, because the car is dead, duh. SO we have our butt in the middle of traffic and just making it hard on other people. (which i really hate)

So we are sitting there, and the uncle is already huffing and puffing, panic attack. Rolls eyes, nothing to worry about. Then he whips out his meds and says i need to take the paxil. Yea, here is the guilting already.(He always does this, like its our fault). Rolls eyes on that as well.

After a few minutes he gets out and asks what could it be. Daddy pipes in and says well the pot hole hit it pretty hard it must of loosen something in the back. Does he listen, nope he doesn't. He pops open the hood and looks. Of course nothing wrong there. And then my worse fears come alive. I really hate being stranded in this city, because once you are stuck then all the homeless, drunk and crazy people come out. And sure enough they did. The dude comes up and like what happened. I'm like great, this is why i want to trek home. Because they just come out. Sigh, so he looks under the hood, and he is smoking, yea great for me and Daddy's lungs.

I step out of the car and just go and sit on the bench across the road. Glad i did, because another homeless,drunk comes up and asks what is going on.( i don't mind homeless people, but here they are really bad, mostly pedo's, drunk or crazy) After a while they try and move the car. I feel sorry for the guys because the uncle is pretty big and they have to push the car. yea, he gets out finally realizing it, and asks daddy to steer the car. It was sad, it took three people to push the car.

Finally got the car out of the way, and the one guy says well maybe you need to hit the restart button. And he asks to look it up in the manual. So finally the uncle does that, and hits it and it starts up fine. He had to call up his buddy to tell him not to come at all.

I was pretty worried the whole time, for one it was almost night time and this city isn't the safest to be out at night. Two i was worried the cold food would spoil and of course the uncle wouldn't reimburse us for it. Also i kept thinking, i just want to walk home. It is the same distance maybe a few more inches farther than what i do walk. But of course the uncle didn't want to do that, since he doesn't walk at all. Plus he said to not leave him.

That kinda made me mad because he only thinks it's OUR problem when he is in trouble. But once me and Daddy are in trouble, then its just me and daddy's problem not his.Why it makes me mad. I hate people who think that every little problem they have, want you to be there and help but once you are in a situation they think well its yours not mine. And go on their own way. They only care about them-self but no one else's feelings and etc.

One reason why i want out of here, so bad. Plus another thing that is coming up, is that he is going on a bi weekly payment instead of him getting it every week. Me and Daddy are thinking that he just trying to make an excuse to not give us the food money.(which is our money in the first place) I just really hate living here. I really truly want out. I wish we could get jobs and just get out of here and be on our own. See once we had money, we were doing just fine. I really wish God will help us soon enough. To get us back up on our feet.

Two more things before i end this. I got punished yesterday, for back talking Daddy. I really didn't mean it, but i haven't been feeling well and i was in a grumpy mood. He punished me by biting my lips pretty hard, which kinda hurt to this day. I'm trying my hardest to be better, but it kinda sucks when you are in pain.

Then to the next thing, I'm still reading the Terry Goodkind book. I'm about a hundred some odd pages and its really good. I pretty much hooked on it. It reminds me of his TV series, Legend of the Seekers, wondering if it is from that. But all and all will be reading all his books. Glad i found another author to like.

Okay this is the end of my rant. until next time...

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