About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

November 5, 2011

Conversation in Wire Club, with a so called "slave"

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: that's cool. im sorta a switch myself but my slave side is more stronger than the domme part.

SWITCHEROO: good, cause i'm very much a slave, most of the time, but try to switch some times. My Domme made me go very deep into submission, couldn't get out

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Yea, i only switch at times. Not all the time, maybe once every five months or so. It is good to try it and get it out, and explore it as well. I dont know if i could do that. i mean i love being the slave, but being really deep into it, hm not sure.

SWITCHEROO: i'd be careful, i switched for a long time, loved her deeply, then we broke up. Another Domme came along, wouldn't let me come back.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: yea, i am very careful. i have been with my Master for five years, four years His slave. so i am careful, only one i will ever have.

Plus, this lifestyle is full of fakes and liars.

SWITCHEROO: You are smarter than me. I really got taken in. My Mistress was an absolute witch.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Yea. Most are like that. It took me about a year or so, to fully trust my Master. And plus, i was grown up in the lifestyle, so i knew what the good and the bad was. And i knew what i wanted, so i wasnt really confused on what type of Master i wanted. Which most should really think about before jumping into something they dont know about.

Are you owned now?

SWITCHEROO: No, i'm not, but i'm still very used to being owned, and miss it terribly

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: ahh, well hopefully you will find that right person

SWITCHEROO: i kinda hope so, but i'm scared too

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Why are you scared?

SWITCHEROO: i wind up too deep, get REALLY owned

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: ahh. Well can you just take it a step at a time. And try not to get so absorbed in it?

SWITCHEROO: i tend to go for the serious Dommes, and get seriously owned

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: and you just cant talk to them before even trying to be Dommed by them?

SWITCHEROO: i think i must want it, and hate it at the same time. Sounds crazy ?

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Not really. But, if i could say something... I will say it now. if you get so absorbed by it, and cant talk to them before hand, i would say to step back and not do it. Until you can do that. Not trying to be mean, i just dont want you to get hurt. You know

SWITCHEROO: Yeah, i get that, but i must want it because i do it

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Or that its sorta like a habit. That could happen as well. Like for instance, my Daddy goes onto collarme.com a lot and talks to Dommes a lot and acts like a slave, and that he does it out of habit and not doing it because He wants to. Could that be it?

SWITCHEROO: Hmmmm, the difference seems to be, i actually do it. i do enjoy it, but it gets very deep, i know i'm a slave at heart

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Yea, trying not to be a noisy butt and get into your business. I just dont want you to get hurt.

SWITCHEROO: It does seem to be a habit, maybe should find a better Domme

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Yes, i think you should talk to them and get to know them before even trying to let them Dom you. I think that would help a lot

SWITCHEROO: I will try, but my needs get in the way. Just wondering, maybe your Daddy needs a Domme sometimes ?

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: At times He does, and He comes to me, since W/we are sorta switches. He has promised ever since then to come to me, when He feels like the slave. And it has worked. Just takes time. And in time, you will get to do that as well

SWITCHEROO: That is how i started, it worked very well, very intense, until she took over

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Yea. Now, you should take a few steps back, and try that system all over again, and just talk and meet Dommes for now . I know it can be hard, but trust me in the end, it will make a better way and memories of the lifestyle.

SWITCHEROO: i really need the extremes of being owned, really.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Then im sorry you shouldnt be in the lifestyle. When it gets that bad, you really need to not be in it. That is really dangerous and wind up dead for it.

SWITCHEROO: Trust me, i'm crazy but not stupid. There are limits that even i won't cross

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: I didnt say you were stupid. I just know how people get in the lifestyle. Sure, you say now, that there are limits you wont cross, but if you get the wrong Domme, those lines may get crossed. Im just protective of people who are in the lifestyle, and really dont want people to get hurt. Why im talking like this.

SWITCHEROO: Why wouldn't you want to warn someone, if you think they might get hurt ?

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: some people dont want to do that. And i do warn them. I feel like it is my right, my responsibility to tell them how it is in the lifestyle. I was just saying that i dont want you mad at me or think im a snob or something for speaking up on that behalf.

SWITCHEROO: i think you are a good friend. I will watch it

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: okay. thanks for that

SWITCHEROO: You are a good friend, ttyl, gotta go. Let's keep up the conversation

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Okay, sure will. You have a good rest. ttyl

SWITCHEROO: Maybe i shouldn't admit this, but i think i get into this because i am kinda femme

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: yea, most who have a Domme, are femme. Just how it is. But its okay to be like that

SWITCHEROO: i'm glad you think so.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph:

SWITCHEROO: a lot of people aren't tolerant of femme men. i appreciate it

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Your welcome. Plus, im not like the rest of the world. Hell most people hate the lifestyle and such, just had it yesterday, and i dont really care. I think that femme guys can be men as well >

SWITCHEROO: Lol, and some men can just be femme

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: lol, you know what i mean

SWITCHEROO: It is hard to find women who like my femme nature, and are kind, so usually i must take punishment from my Dommes, but i like that too

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Yea, it is hard to find them.

SWITCHEROO: Once i do find them, i am a very willing slave, accepting punishments as an act of devotion to their superior nature, and beauty. Usually this is humiliating, but i actually like it. I wonder id it feels the same to female slaves ?

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: I guess it does. But for me, im defiant for the most part. I do accept my punishments, when i think i deserve them, and when i dont think so, i am very opinioned about it lol. But, for the whippings, i dont think its humiliating for me, i really love the pain and what it comes to being devoted to my Master.

SWITCHEROO: i agree, it is humiliating in the eyes of the observer, but i too enjoy it, i love it as well. i enjoy accepting punishment from a superior female, that i can only imitate. i understand that my body can never be equal, and it is my place to accept the pain. Sometimes if Mistress is cruel, my humiliation is such that i am driven to that special subspace we both love.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: yea, i cant do that though. I have been through way too much, to be driven to my state of "happiness, or happy place', or accept a punishment that cruel, but that is me. I fight with both a lot, Domme and slave and they dont want to be happy lol. But, im glad that you can accept that though

SWITCHEROO: i find that space gratifying both emotionally and sexually. It is then that i feel the most femme, and worthy. Most women slaves fight that, and i understand that. i really love that subspace.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Yea, i really dont like mine. It just brings back bad memories, of how i was truly broken and such, and i dont want to go back there. So, yea i have limits in that area. But, for some it can be really good, like for you and im glad that you like it.

SWITCHEROO: i get that, i do. i was was broken beyond my ability to bear, and was left to accept without any appreciation. i just need it all, and accept my needs

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Yea. Im glad that you accepted that

SWITCHEROO: The hardest part for me is accepting that i don't please my Domme as a man, but she still has her needs too. i am left in the situation of being neither fully male, nor fully female, and sexually in a humiliating, but satisying position. On occassion, my Dommes actually appreciate the devotion i show her then.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Yea. I wish my Master can see that when He gets mad at me, for silly things, cough like tonight. I think its hard to please them in every way...

SWITCHEROO: i enjoy trying, and accepting the punishment for the inevitable failure. To me that is the heart of a slave. It is difficult when she is pleased by a real man, and i accept my duty, and my pleasure.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Yea, i try my best to please, but i just dont like the physiological torment to it. Just brings up, and He does it a lot. Not really trying to whine or anything, but i guess that for me the frustration to it, is that you try so hard to please and feels like its not unless it is a major thing. I do like the challenge to it, but still you wish that they were happy with whatever you did and even try to do for them.

SWITCHEROO: i truly accept that i am inferior, therefore any appreciation is unmerited. i am special in that being neither male nor female allows me to be of service in special ways.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Yea

SWITCHEROO: i see that you are familiar with my my situation.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: yea, but i struggle a lot more with it. Probably from past stuff...

SWITCHEROO: Do you struggle with your Master being pleased by others ?

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: He doesnt let others please Him. And if He did that, without me consenting, yea i would.

SWITCHEROO: i see, but i never have that choice. i not only must approve, but participate

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Yea, well W/we work differently. I do have some say so in the stuff, and the only way W/we would get another slave or so, is that W/we all get along.
Plus, i dont think it is good to have more than a Master ans slave to the mix, for me its just not loyal.. but that is my opinion though

SWITCHEROO: i don't even worry about having say so in it, i accept my position. my position is always the least among women, and among men.

BTW, i really enjoy chatting with you. i can talk about anything with you.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: . Thanks, i really enjoy chatting with you as well. . I really dont care if my say so works, just in the major areas, like the lifestyle, but other things, i just let it go

SWITCHEROO: i have come to enjoy the friendship, and i let it all go. It is my place to serve.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: . I think the reason i need to have some say so, is that what i went through, i had no voice, i had things ripped from me. And by gaining it back, i have stand up for myself, and that on things i really need to say, i want people to hear. Or, else it just goes back to being the old times.

I know its silly and selfish, but it is how i have coped with my past, and if i know that my Master doesnt hear me, i yell, because it just brings those memories up. I think that if it wasnt ripped from me, and sorta forced into the lifestyle, i would be like that. Not really care, i guess.

SWITCHEROO: i truly enjoy the service, and claim nothing

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: yea

SWITCHEROO: I'm only doing it the way i like. Each has his own way

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: yea they do

SWITCHEROO: i think accepting that i have no rights is the best way to be happy, and to be the best slave.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: ye, some think that

SWITCHEROO: Whatever works for you

SWITCHEROO: i'm curious, how do you feel you were forced into the lifestyle ?

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: well, i was trained every since i was a child. And when i hit the age of reasoning, my family still did it, without me wanting to think on it. Plus, i was raped and did what the guy wanted in the beginning, and it was like that. I really didnt have a choice, until i hit about 16, 17 really thinking long and hard on it. And finally realizing that im a slave, when i met Daddy.

SWITCHEROO: OMG, how were you trained. i have heard some were trained as children, but didn't know anyone who was actually trained that way

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Yes, i was. My mother trained me as a Domme, trying to make me strong,and controlling, and dad wanted me to be a save, meek,do what my husband, or bf wanted. It was very confusing as hell

SWITCHEROO: Did your parents train you sexually to be a Domme and a slave ? Was your mother a Domme, and your dad a slave? This is a facinating story.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: No, nothing sexual. In a sense i think they are in the lifestyle, and they are just denying it. But, yes mother would be the DOmme and dad the slave.

SWITCHEROO: Interesting, that you chose to identify as a slave like your dad. Would you consider your dad to be femme ?

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: hm,some ways he is femme, and i dont mind it. That is his personality and come to know him as that

SWITCHEROO: Maybe you didn't like mom dominating him so you took a more traditional route

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Well you have to know my family abusive. And i dont tend to like Dommes for that reason. Because they dont know how to be Dommes and such. I really didnt mind it, if it wasnt so much hatred and such. Plus, my mother hated me being a slave. So yea

SWITCHEROO: In what ways do you think Dommes are abusive ? i never thought of myself as being abused

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: I was abused. My family physically and mentally abused. I dont think all Dommes are like that, but they are fake and dont know how to control and what not. they think to control is to take, and if you dont do what they want, they get all huffy. ANd cant control their own emotions and such.

SWITCHEROO: i am starting to understand. i have been conditioned to think that is love

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: yes, and let me tell you it isnt. I was under abuse for 19 years and other things as well. And i thought it was sorta out of love as well, until my mom said one thing that broke my heart. I was a burden to her and that she was glad to get me off her hands. And then i knew it wasnt love, but annoyance and such

SWITCHEROO: i felt that when my Domme dismissed me for not accepting a poly life.
i always wondered if i should have accepted my place in it as a slave.
Then she would have kept me

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: No, i dont think so. Even if you did that to please her, she would of dismissed you for another reason. Dont think on that, and what could of been. Stick to your heart and know that what you did was right. I have to do that myself

SWITCHEROO: Are you in the poly life ? i just always thought of myself as a failure for not being able to submit to all the degredation i knew i had to accept. Later, i accepted it willingly

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: No, not in a poly. Daddy has thought of it, but i think it is mere fantasy. Because He says that He just wants it between U/us and it cant be like that if it is poly. But i use to think that myself. If i was just a puppet to my family and be miserable maybe they would love me. But even to this day they dont. And i have accepted that and have moved on with my life. Now, if they wanted to say, i am changing and want to say sorry, i will accept it as wel.

SWITCHEROO: So if they said they were sorry, you would accept a poly life. i understand that. i would accept that too from my former Domme. i have learned to accept being used

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Well my family, if they said sorry about abusing me and tried to change, i would accept that

SWITCHEROO: Oh, they have to change ? i thought you would accept poly, like i would, and have had to

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: My family arnt into it. Daddy is my fiancee.... but i dont know, if it was with people who W/we are compatible with then maybe. but what im saying is that my family was abusive to me and only me. And if they said sorry, for doing that and accept me as their real daughter, i would accept them back into my life

SWITCHEROO: 2 different issues, poly is ok with you then.

Thats what i decided, since i was femmed. No woman wants to play sexually with a femme except a Domme. Then it seems they only enjoy the control

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: i wouldnt mind it, i think it would be nice to have sister slaves and such. someone to talk to about what is going on and such. and yes, sorry talking on two different things.

yea, i dont really get to know people in the lifestyle who are just in it for sex and such.

SWITCHEROO: i never chatted much with sister slaves, just femmed males, who largely are totally gay now

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: yea, ive only talked to a few femme males.. and they were gay, which i dont mind it. But the most i have talked to sister saves and i hate to say it, all lies and such.

SWITCHEROO: what lies do the sister slaves tell ?
i think the femmed boys also lie

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: yea, they do. Oh it ranges. Some say they are in the lifestyle and dont even act submissive at all. Some just like to think they are in the ifestyle, but just fooling themselves into thinking it. Just goes on and on, in that way. And i know most envy me, because what me and Daddy do, they cant and they get mad at that, which they shoudnt.

SWITCHEROO: True, most of the boys are the same, always pretending they love their Dommes and that they weren't forced into the poly life after being dominated and femmed

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: yea, its just so tiresome finding this all the time. Why cant people be themselves?

SWITCHEROO: Its all about control and power, once we are broken. It's not even about sex

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Im not really broken but accepted what i was. And i can still be myself. But most dont think like that, they just want it for kink.

SWITCHEROO: i was broken, maybe because i fought it, when i gave up i just accepted anything

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: yea, for some it is like that.

SWITCHEROO: Did i really have a choice, i wondered ?

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: i dont know. I think W/we do have a choice. But that is my opinion

SWITCHEROO: i guess it's my own fault and now it just is. i really enjoy our chats. i don't chat like this with others. i have to get to work, but will pop back from time to time

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Okay, you have a good time at work. But still, now you have a choice.. but of course still my opinion

SWITCHEROO: The Dommes will expose me and ruin my life. Trust me, i don't.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: hm i dont know about that

SWITCHEROO: That is the threat over all the femmed boys. The girls can just be a victim of abuse, and walk away. Only some slutty pics will be released. Imagine the damage to men

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: And that is why you dont pick Dommes like that. Why you need to find someone who isnt oing to be like that and im sorry but that isnt being a mistress at all.

SWITCHEROO: NOW you tell me !!

lol

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: lol, well that was common sense though

SWITCHEROO: They can be cunning, mine was. Gotta do some work. Love chatting with you

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Love chatting with you too. Oh, but they really arnt cunning You can see right through them. SUre, some take about two or three days tops of talking to figure them out

SWITCHEROO: Very true, if you know what they are planning. Some are wives or gf's who pretend to love you, but only later start to Domme, and do it progressively

Messages hey(Had to send a differnt message to this person)

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Very true, if you know what they are planning. Some are wives or gf's who pretend to love you, but only later start to Domme, and do it progressively...

said it was full in the other mail. Yea, some do that and i really think its funny in a way.

SWITCHEROO: you like that the men don't know what will happen to them ? They get fooled into being femmed and slaves

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: not really. I wish people would have common sense though

SWITCHEROO: i know i was fooled. my Domme was very kinky and demanded that i go along with her, to be kinky with her. For a long time it was only us, until she finally sprung the trap

SWITCHEROO: i guess it just proves her superiority. She trapped me fair and square

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: not really. I dont think that is what makes a Domme

SWITCHEROO: It sure worked on me. What do you think makes a Domme ?

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: the same as a Master. Someone who can be in control of their emotions and when a slave pesters them and such, know exactly what punishment to do. Also, to appreciate them, and know that they are loved and such. That there are also rewards that come with it and etc. Also knowing the boundaries where abuse lies... and not exceed those....

SWITCHEROO: Are you saying i wasn't Dommed, but abused ?

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: in a way, sorta. When you dont have the right Domme or Dom, you run into abuse about fifty percent higher than a slave who has a good one. So, maybe. I dont think she was a real Domme, just one who liked to control and that is abuse

SWITCHEROO: i wonder how to get out of this then, i have turned into a slave, femmed and can't get out, maybe even addicted to the life now. i think i just have to live it out. It's who i am now

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: shrugs, everyone can get out if they want. most stay because they are addicted to it. It is the syndrome that they go through. I thought that is what i had to do, stay with my abusive family, but you know what, its not healthy.. so why stay in it.

Need to learn to be something else, if you can find a person who is good, and healthy for this lifestyle, then fine do that. But if you keep doing this, and it interrupts your life, then you need out. It is seeping into your life, and it shouldnt.

SWITCHEROO: She will expose me to everyone

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Then you need out of it completely. This isnt a lifestyle you need. Need to maybe move somewhere else. If it hurts you, by loosing job and such, then you need to sue her. You have rights. Sorry, but no more excuses with it

SWITCHEROO: What about family ? i might lose them too

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: then you will loose them. Not a family at all, if they will disown you. What it comes with the lifestyle and such. You either, go fully in, knowing you could be shunned by everyone, and still do something that makes you happy.

If not, i advise you to get out. Why i am saying, either be in it completely with the right person, or stay out of it

SWITCHEROO: This is gonna cost me everything

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: that is the cost of the lifestyle. Being with someone who is bad for you. You have to take the good with the bad.

SWITCHEROO: and if i just stay in it ? Do you respect that as an option ?

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: i really dont know. After what i have been reading and such. I dont know. since it just seems you are just brainwashed to be in the lifestyle. Just wanting to be in it, because you are girly and such. You need to dig deep and ask yourself, why are you really in this lifestyle.

Is it for the power exchange and to please a Domme. Is it really for only the kink value and etc. If it is for the first, then sure. But the second,no, im sorry. need to rethink why you are in the lifestyle and maybe get out.

SWITCHEROO: It is because of the cost of getting out, but the kink has me addicted now.

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: then you need out of it. This is the price of coming into it, just for kink value and nothing else, and probably just jumping into it. Everything has a price, and the thing that makes everyone different, is what you do about it.

you have the means to get out, but it is up to you, if you stay, its your fault, no one elses. If you do, then thats good, and live a normal life. You always have options, no matter what

SWITCHEROO: i got into it to please my Domme, but got addicted. This will cost me big time

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: shrugs, maybe this will open your eyes up. To how bad it could be, if not worse. Could be that, you could be dead, by not knowing fully what this lifestyle is about. Why children should not be involved with it. Why, teenagers should leave it alone, but the reason they tinker with it, because they do not get the discipline, the whippings they need.

SWITCHEROO: You are saying that i must accept my punishment, i earned it. i guess so

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: In a way, yes. Sorry, just how i see it. Most people only see the bad of the lifestyle, because they put themselves there and do not want to take the responsibility of it. And others like me, was forced in it, but got out and found a better Master and got on with life. And now, trying to teach others, what it is llike and why they should really think of why they want in this lifestyle. it is no fun and games. It is harder than a vanilla lifestyle. When you step in here, you are risking everything you have. So you better own up to that.

SWITCHEROO: Maybe i'll stay a slave then

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: shrugs, suit yourself.

SWITCHEROO: a woman can say she was abused and get sympathy. A man is thought to be a pervert and a fool. Thats how it is

Slave_Ashpea_Nymph: Actually no. Most women get symphathy sure, But for the slim pick, like me, say it was our fault. So you really cant say that at all

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