About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

December 26, 2011

A very good conversation with a nice person.....


cp=courious person


cp:you started the christmas drinking yet?
me;no, i dont drink
cp;ah that solves that for you then
cp:is that because of religion or just personnal preference?
me;um because i dont need to drink all the time. I only drink sometimes
me;also, only so much money, goes for food not booze ;p
cp;yeah fair one
cp;so what do yuo look hun?
me:um, i look like myself lol, well 5 6, dark brown hair, blue/gray eyes and becoming skinny
cp;lol becoming?
me:yes, loosing weight
cp:thats going to be hard over christmas
me;no lol
cp;must be strong willed then
me;well that and little food here lol
cp;that would do it
me:yea lol
cp;what you got planned over xmas?
me;um, just making the turkey, praying to get more food, and watching movies with Daddy/fiancee
me;you
cp;daddy/fiancee??? is that 2 people?
me;BDSM lifestyle, no one person
cp;and your actual father?
me;no
me;Daddy dom
me;Dom
cp;haha phew!
me;lol
me;why i put it like that
cp;ah makes sense now
me;yea lol
cp;so your into lots of naughtiness then i take it
me:um, i wouldnt say naughty, just regular stuff lol. Sadomasochism stuff, nothing sexual and such
cp:ah, its something i dont know a lot about to be honest
me;yea, a lot dont
cp:tell me more about it, educate me
me;okay, well where do i begin lol
me:im better with questions and such, than outright saying
cp;yeah sorry its a real open kind of question
me;its okay
me;well i can give a round about thing first and can go from there
me:well bdsm is bondage,discipline, or domination, sadistic and masochism.. in those terms, it is power exchange
cp:yeah we'll go for that
cp;and you like to be dominated?
me;yes, i do
cp;and does that involve being tied up?
me:for the most part, no.. but it does make it exciting if someone is bound, but for me and me:Daddy, mostly pins me down, or i have to hold still
cp:and is sex involved or is that not the thrill of it all?
me:for me and Daddy, no sex at all, but for others, it is involved in it
cp:so being tied and pinned, does that make you wet or is it a different pleasure?
me:it can make me wet, but it is also a different pleasure as well, how can i say it without me:sounding so weird, its like you can feel the power exchange which is a thrill
cp:i get it i think
cp:does it ever involve pain for you?
me:yes, always does
me;i am a masochist, while Daddy is the sadist
cp:where do you draw the line?
me;well for me, it is when i cant take it anymore, mentally or physically
cp:wow, so can go far then
me;yes, i can
cp:do you ever have anyone else involved with you and daddy?
me;no, this is just me and Him
cp:so what do you like when it comes to sex?
me;um well ive only had it three times, and still slowly getting into it. But, i like to be me;pinned and Him takin control
me;but like i said, still working on it
cp;how do prepare yourself?
me;well mostly it is trust with Daddy, and then just not thinking about it and such.. mostly how i prepare for things
cp:whats your normal day to day relationship like or is it always in the fantasy?
me;this isnt a fantasy, this is a lifestyle.. and im a 24/7 slave, no off switch for this
me;my day to day, is cleaning, cooking, and taking care of Daddy, seeing what He needs and such
cp;wow... what do you work as?
me;im looking for work
me;even when i do find work, i will still be a slave
cp;fair play must be heaven for you though because your living all your desires?
me;um, its not all heaven lol. Its a lifestyle, and its very hard work
cp:does daddy work?
me;no, He is looking as well
cp:so your working extra hard because he's at home lol
me;um yes and then again no
me;no matter what it is challenging and frustrating at times, but rewarding lol
cp;so are you wearing normal clothes or chains and stuff?
me;i wear normal clothing, but i also wear my collars
cp:sorry about so many questions
me;that is okay
cp;have you liked this sort of thing from childhood?
me;um yes, i was trained in it, when i was young, family stopped at 13, and from there, i was always curious if i was actully wanted to be in it still, or be in a 'vanilla' normal relationship
me;found out, i didnt lol
cp;trained in it?
me:yes
cp;how?
me:my mother trained me as a Domme, to have the mental stuff for a Domme, like the slave or so to do anything i wanted and such
me;and my dad wanted me to be a slave
me;do what my husband wanted and such
cp;are your parents into it too?
me:well my family are hypocrites.. they deny being in it.. yet they have the tendencies of it
me:brb Daddy needs me
cp;ok
me;hold on a sec, need to brush His hair
cp:righto
okay back
cp:all done?
me;yes
cp;seems like a very good deal that daddy has?
me:it is for the both of U/us ;D
me:well its true lol
cp;so i have another question but its very personnal
me;lol okay
cp:if you dont want to say than no worries.... were you abused as a child in a simular way to what you do now?
me;um, yes, i was
me;i was sexually, physically and mentally abused
cp;how did you feel about it all at the time?
me;i was very confused. I didnt know why i did what i did, and to this day i still ashamed for it.
cp:do you think that you do what you do now because you feel its what you've always done and how you are or because you get a genuine pleasure from it? do you think you would do it even if you didnt have the past that you do?
me:yes, i think it is a genuine pleasure from it. I think no matter if the abuse had happened, i would still be a slave in the lifestyle. It is my identity
cp:do you have friends over often or do you tend to be shut away?
me;um, i dont have friends, because its hard to find real real friends... and if i did have them, they could come over whenever they want ;d
cp:right i'll try to stop asking questions now, sorry lol
me;you can ask as many as you want
me:its good to learn and such
cp;i'm in a more vanilla type relationship as you called it, but i love anal sex, what would you make of that? read some things about it and some people say its me wanting to dominate, i dont know myself, just know it turns me on
me;hm, i think its more of a vanilla thing. doing anal, doesnt mean you like to be dominated and such, it just spices things up. plus, its normal and hm how can i put it... i guess vanilla because more weird things most people say happens in the lifestyle
cp:does daddy ever go further or push more than you feel comfortable with?
me:yes, this lifestyle is always pushing the limits, and such.. so yes He does
cp;is he violent towards you by beating you too?
me;not violent, but yes whippings and such goes on in O/our lifestyle
cp:and how do you feel about that?
me:i love it. there are some things i dont like, like slapping my face and what not, but i do love whippings and such
cp:my step mum and brother were beaten so thats something tricky for me to get my head around to be honest
me;yes, i was abused as well, hitting and such
me:and that is one thing
me;a sadistic Master or Mistress needs to put in
cp:where it is, that can be called abused...
cp:must be a fine line between living the lifestyle you want to and being abused
me;yes
me;there is a very very fine line for that
me;if Daddy ever stepped across that line, it would be the end of it. And i think that is why, most people are so against the lifestyle
me:they think that all whippings and such, is abuse
me:when its not, it is consent and if the slave cant take it, they say the safe word or what me:not, and the Master or Mistress will stop. and i think that is where people cant get their minds around
cp;people find it hard to understand something then they seem to find it harder to accept it
me:yes
me:that is true
cp:so what about when it comes to sex, do you have normal sex or is there always pain or domination involved, how do you get your sexual enjoyment?
me:well im still working on that, since it is hard for me. But, i guess you can say it runs in the lines between the both.. vanilla and the lifestyle.. i like it light at first, but i also me:love it when He dominates and does what He wants
and then when it progresses i like it rougher and such
cp;how long have you both been together?
me;five years
cp;and have you always been like this together or is it something that you've discovered together?
me:um basically been like this for the five years... but a year of training with Him... but also this is
me;hm a growing, thing for U/us
me:as in He is my first Master and im His first slave

Okay, in the beginning of this conversation i thought this dude was a bit crazy, as i will explain the first part of the conversation in a minute. When talking to him, i thought, oh jeez here we go again, but as the conversation went on, he was actually pretty nice, even though i think, he thinks I'm a nut.

So, in the beginning, he asks me if i drink, which i rarely do as with money problems and such. And the first thing that comes out of his mouth is, is it a religious thing. Why would it be a religious thing, when all it is, is drinking. Sure, i drink once in a while, but how did ever pop up into his head. So, it kinda annoyed me to even explain my reasoning to not having alcohol at all.

The next thing that comes up, which annoys me a bit, is what do you look like. I know this society relies on pictures and visual stuff, but why does it always, and i mean always have to come up.It's like almost a slap in the face. Why talk to someone, if the only thing you are going to ask, is what do you look like and such. It just gets on my nerves quite a bit, since that question and can you show pics is another annoying one.

Well, talked about me loosing weight. Yes, i am loosing weight for me and also it is one of O/our rules. So, kinda talked on it, which is a hard line for me, since i am very conscience of my weight and what not. He asks, well its going to be hard to keep on your diet because of Christmas. But it's funny.You can still be on your diet and eat what you want.. what it takes is the porportions you use and that the stuff be all natural and what not. And most people don't want to keep on their diets at all. 

I notice the next question is always popping up. Is Daddy/fiancee two people. At some points i can see with logic why they ask this, but for most who are in the lifestyle, should know what this means, but they don't. So this is where the lifestyle comes up a lot now. 
 Every time i mention my lifestyle, i always get, well arent you a nympho and oh your are into kinky sex.The whole point of this lifestyle, is the power exchange. If it was all about sex, wouldn't they say that, or power sex instead. I guess it kinda annoys me to a degree of this question. I guess because me and Daddy are a slim number of people in this lifestyle who practice it without sex. So, i guess in a way, it kinda offends me, but then again, not. 

Whenever i say what BDSM means, i always get, this kind of question. Oh, so you do the bondage.I don't see how people think i am into the bondage part of the lifestyle, as it is not my thing. So, it kinda makes me wonder why this question comes up a bit. But, as i have to say, W/we do the last part of the acryomn.. which shocks a lot of people. Surprising huh. 

So, being pinned and such, makes you excited or gives a different type of pleasure. I have never had this type of question before and its a bit interesting. For me, it does make me excited, but what i love the most of it, is the power exchange you feel that surges through you. It's kinda hard to explain that part, if you do not practice in this lifestyle, but it is a very exciting thrill. 
 With being a masochist, there will always be lines to cross and lines that you can not cross. This is where it get a bit more complicated and a bit interesting as well. As a masochist, before you ever find a Dom or Domme, if you are into pain and looking for a sadistic type of person, then you need to look deep inside of yourself and find out what your limits are. Yes, slaves/subs have limits, and that is where you need to say, stop and etc. If you don't have this, then you can get hurt, emotionally and phyisically. Also having limits, is to find out where your breaking points are, and to have those, so you wont or your Dom or Domme will not cross. So, it is interesting when someone asks me this, because most dont get this far in talking about this lifestyle.  

I'm going to combine the next two into this paragraph as it is going to be a bit small. I get a lot people asking me this question a lot. Do you involve anyone else with you and your Daddy. And the answer is always no.The reason behind that, is that both me and Daddy think it is not wise for U/us at all. It will for one ruin O/our bond with E/each O/other and also, doesn't show the loyalty, respect, honor and everything that goes to having a Dom. So, when people ask this, they get a shock value to it, since they are use to people doing this.  And the next question how do you prepare for the punishments and the lifestyle. For me, it is going to my core, and pushing my mind into thinking something totally different. It is like shifting the pain to something else, and that is what i do. At times i will prepare myself, by holding my breath and know that the whippings will come, but with the other stuff, it is the first thing. Make me think something else and put that pain somewhere else. 

I notice a lot of people think that this lifestyle is fantasy based, and for some people it is only that. But, for me and Daddy, this isn't a fantasy, this is a lifestyle for U/us, and as you see, i am showing a bit of what i do on a daily basis. It may not be as wild as other slaves duties and such will be, but this is what i agreed to This is who i am, and i love it. 
 I also notice that a lot of people ask this question. Do you work? It's like a lot of people believe wikipedia on what BDSM is about and not getting their info right on that. Sure, some slaves do not work because their Master's don't want them to. But, i highly advise slaves/subs to get work. It shows that you can still be independent and when things don't work out with your Master or Mistress, you have something to fall back on. I think it is really important for slaves to do that, just to be independent and not a robot in this lifestyle. I do know that most people will gasp on that, but i think it is important to have an identity and being yourself.

I think it is funny when people say, oh it is heaven to have all your desires fulfilled and what not. I hate to bust people's bubbles when it comes to this. This lifestyle is very hard on both Masters and slaves. This isn't a game, and this is dealing with emotions and mental capacity. So, its not going to be heaven all the time, and I'm not sure if people will understand that at all. 
 I have never gotten this question before... asking I'm working double hard right now, since i dont have work. I guess in a way, i am working extra hard and then again not. The reason i say this, is because as a lifestyle there will be slow days, and then days that are really full and busy. At times i do work extra hard and the reason being is because i love Daddy and i want Him to be happy. That is one thing as a slave i strive to do, is to put a smile on His face every day. Sometimes that is hard, but i do try my best on it. But the reason i say no, is because it doesn't feel too much extra work and that is probably because i have been doing it for a very long time. lol

The next question always makes me chuckle. Again we see that things are being assumed and not understood if slaves do this or not. As i have stated i am in clothes all the time, the only thing different with my outfits, is i wear my collar, or my bracelets, bangles and such, that Daddy has gotten me to show that i am owned.  When i clean i do it in clothing, and not in chains and such. Yes, i have done some cleaning being tied up, and it was interesting, but that was only once, as it wasnt a thing for U/us.

It's been a while since i had this question. Yes, i have been interested in this lifestyle since i was a child and the reason to it, is because i watched a lot of movies and tv shows that had undertones or such in the lifestyle and also family training me. I notice that a lot of people, and even people in the lifestyle, always raise their eyebrows to this. Yes, i was trained at a very early age, in this lifestyle, even if family thinks they are not in it. For some reason my mother wanted me to be like her, a so called Domme. I think she knew i would never be a Domme, but she had to try in some way, i guess. All and all, she didn't like my answer to who i am.. and i cant say sorry for who i am. 

Are your parents into the lifestyle, is what i get every time i say that i was trained by them. And my answer always stays the same, since it is the truth. I think they are hypocrites and practice it, just dont want anyone knowing, not sure why though. And at times, i wonder why did they choose to train me, and not my sister. But, you cant ponder on those kind of thoughts for to long. 
 I also get this question as well. Were you abused as a child, and the answer is yes. For reasons i cant comprehend at times, but it is what it is. Not that all people who are in the lifestyle, will have abuse in their life. Like an example, Daddy. He was never abused and He is in the lifestyle. 
 How i felt about all of that as a child. As i stated i was very confused and at times i still am confused. With the rapes and with the lifestyle kinda mixed into it, i always ask myself, why was i so compelled to do what that person wanted. Why did i obey, is it because it is who i am, or is it because i didn't want to get hurt more so than i was. And i still cant answer that question at all. But, at that time, with the abuse and the lifestyle, i was confused, i was awkward with things and wasnt sure, if i was a freak or not normal at all. 

do you think that you do what you do now because you feel its what you've always done and how you are or because you get a genuine pleasure from it? do you think you would do it even if you didn't have the past that you do?
This one is a good question to bring up. For a very long time, i thought i was in the lifestyle because i felt compelled to it and that i was trained to do that. But as i progressed and still progressing more and more into this lifestyle, it is a true genuine pleasure i get from it. It is a part of me that will never go away, and most people cant understand that at all.

I never had this question before and its a bit good to have different questions to be answered.It is interesting about this question. Like i answered if i did have friends, they are always welcomed to come over, as it would not be a problem for Daddy and me. But what i would like for future reference is that even the friends W/we make, who are not into the lifestyle, will respect U/us and not judge U/us at all.

The next one is interesting as well. Most people think that having anal is only for BDSM and that isnt true at all. I know a lot of vanilla people who do this, and i think it is more of a vanilla thing than the lifestyle persay. Only reason people say that it falls under the lifestyle is because it is not a one way position and not a good outlook for it. And as for people saying it is to be dominated, they need to think again. All it is, is a different position and what not. I think people need to stop trying to give everything a deeper meaning than what it is.

The next three will be in this, as it is pertained in the same category. Does Daddy push you to an uncomfortable place and such. And the answer is yes.In this lifestyle, it will always be like that. It is to push your boundaries and to learn more and different things. It shows you that you can bond better with your Master and such, but also, to grow more and more. 
 As people think that sadomasochism is viloence when it is not. I mean it can be, with the wrong people, but with the right and sane people it isn't. Of course Daddy is not viloent at all. Does ashpea get punished, yes she does, and there are always reasons for that. There is never a reason that i get punished for nothing i have done. 
 And, how do i feel about this. I love getting whipped and such. If i didn't then i wouldn't be able to do any of this. Sure somethings may make me think of my past memories, but that is where you push through your problems and come out as a better person. I know some people think this isn't right, but for me this is who i am. 

How long have you been together. As i have said, W/we've been with E/each O/other for five years. Four as His slave and the one year in training. For some people, will think well that isn't a long time in the lifestyle, but in reality it is, but that doesn't mean, I'm not bonding or growing with Daddy still. 
 And, have you been doing this from the beginning or just now.And as i said just before, W/we've done this since the beginning. There was about two months that He didn't tell me He wasnt in the lifestyle but when He did, that is when W/we started this. Ever since then, it has been a lot of good and bad experiences in this lifestyle, and how W/we get along and such. This is a tedious learning and growing with Him, but i love doing this with Him.

At the end of this conversation i think the guy thought i was crazy or something because it seems he just made something up and never came back to talk and what not. I'm not upset or anything, but he did open up a lot of questions that have never been answered and what not, and good to have a good conversation with an open minded person and not feel like you have to hide or feel ashamed of who you are. I wish all conversations would go this way, but of course if they all did, then it would be boring, huh. Until next time....

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