About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

December 11, 2011

What's going on in the lifestyle and my world...


I really shouldnt be writing this down, but i have to get these emotions out some way. I've tried talking to Daddy about what is going on, yet all i am getting at this moment is a brick wall. And, i think that is what is frustrating me so much, at this moment.

Where do i begin with this rant.Lets see woke up today and not even an hour up, Daddy went to working on His computer stuff. I dont mind Him doing it, but what makes me upset, is that He has been at it for fourteen hours straight.

That means, ignoring me and everything. That doesnt sit well with me at all. When someone ignoes me, my whole body and mind shifts gears. I go into my alone mode. Which is, i try and do things on my own and i put up my numbness walls.

After i have been cranky, tired and etc, He finally decides to "wake" me up, saying oh lets get some food into you, so you can stay awake. I really dont like doing that, since i am tired because i am bored, nothing else with that. With a point, i can see why most women get onto their men for playing games all day and ignoring them. It is frustrating for you to try and please them, and all you get is the silent treatment.

Yea, i cant believe i said that, but i did. Sigh, on top of that my stomach is really killing me. Nothing is helping it, and i thought well maybe some food will help it. I asked Daddy to make me some, since im not up to it, to make it. And guess what, another hour goes by and He is back to His programming stuff.

It really irriates me. Its like i am not even here for one. The second thing is this, I am His slave. So, when He ignores me and does His programming all day, it is like a punishment for me. Without any reasons to it.

I just not sure what to do with it. I am cranky and i am trying to be pleasant about it, since i have to be a slave. But, i hate and i really hate, feeling like i am nagging Him, when im not. I feel like i have to switch on my Domme side, and close all the programs before He even listens to me.

I guess all of that upsets me, but what upsets me more so, is that I am not feeling well and i am very antsy for some odd reason. All i got for this, uh huh, wel i dont know what to do. Instead of my loving Daddy, taking care of me. It just feels like a blow to me, and it hurts to the core. Anyways, until next time.......

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