- I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.
April 19, 2011
Today i get the run around at the CHC. All because we dont have income so we cant show proof of income and each time its freakin hard to show what you dont have. My meds without insurance was going to cost about 22 dollars, (and for the people who have money, thinks this is cheap), guess again, when you have zip to your name, twenty some odd bucks is a lot. Trying to figure out how im going to show proof of income, got to come up with a weird statement, and then buy them. I live with my fiancée and his uncle, but the uncle doesnt help at all... but im hoping God will help soon with that.
Another thing that is on my mind is, I need to get a job, and soon. It has been almost three years since i have had a job. It is driving me nuts.Have to worry about so much stuff, and on top of that if you will ever get a dang job. I have had a lot of people tell me, well you need to go back to school. Hm if i had money in the first place, i would do that after i got my priorities straighten out.. But since i have not even a penny in my name, how the hell am i going to back to school? I have no grants that will help, and that only covers a bit of it, you have to come up with the rest of the money, and same with the financial aid the government helps out with. So im stuck in this rut for now.
For some reason God wants me to be here. I still dont really know what it is, only thing that comes up is that he wants me to go through this to know how it feels for others. It seems he does that a lot with me. This is just grrr.
Now lets go to my pain and meds. Oh the joy. Well i have primary dysmenorrhea, which is painful periods that affect your daily life. I have really bad side affects to this. I am on meds, which is etodolac and herbs, but i found out this month i have only three pills. That will only last me a day and a half. NO where near the length of my period. I am pulling my hair out, because a week before or i should say a couple of days before hand i am having really bad pain, and nothing to calm it down. I am going berserk off of it. I'm already biting my fiancée head off, my mood swings are all over the place, and im not sure how the heck im going to be able to get meds.
We have a CHC here that we go too, but they are being butt-holes for the time being. Since we have no income that it is hard to get meds. The meds usually cost about 15 bucks or so, but i'm getting tired of their attitude towards me and my fiancée. They are suppose to be a low income/homeless clinic to help people out who don't have a lot of money to give to a regular insurance place. So why all the hostility then? We got the run around, telling us they weren't going to take us and what not, till we finally had a nice lady that helped us. It was pretty good, since if things get out of hand just call her up. :) But the reason i wanted to bring this up, is that for one, i really didn't know how much pain im in. It kinda showed me how much pain i have going through each month.
See we were looking around to see if we could get it cheap without insurance and proof of income. Searched Wal-mart, they were 45/46 bucks. Then Three Bears was better about 24 dollars and etc. So that is the going rate for these pills. And we googled to see if there was a generic brand for my pills on the MG that i take. Well it popped up that the normal dosage is 400 MG, well that kinda shocked me, since i take about another hundred MG but i take two a day, so if you add that up that is about 1000 MG, not including my herbs. It shows how much it takes to take away my pain. But it was kinda ridiculous that Wal Mart was really expensive though. So on to the next thing.
Another thing we are worrying about is that if my fiancée will be able to get SSI. We are on the appeal process, and hoping that this will finally be settled and show that he is disabled and cant work. Already had a hard time with the first process, im hoping the second one will go smoothly and be able to see that he cant work.
These are just a few problems of mine, that have been on my mind for a long time, that are finally coming up because i cant handle any of my emotions at this time. And also hoping that if anyone reads this that they can pray for us. To get out of this and be able to have a nice and peaceful life. I guess im done rambling now. Take Care, GBY.........................Ashpea
April 16, 2011
B.D.S.M. In Fairy Tales- Reader's Digest
Ali Baba And The Forty Thieves
Pg. 90- The door was open by the slave Morgiana, whom Ali Baba knew to be both brave and cunning.
Pg. 90- Unloading the mule,he said to her,” This is the body of your master, who has been murdered, but whom we must bury as though he had died in his bed.
Pg.90- I will speak to you again but now tell your mistress that I have come.”
Pg. 91- “My poor master,” she said,”can neither eat nor speak and no one knows what his illness is.”
Pg. 91- Then they buried Cassium, and Morgiana, his slave,followed him to the grave,weeping and tearing her hair,while Cassium's wife stayed at home uttering lamentable cries.
Pg. 93-By and By Morgiana, going out, saw the mark the robber had made,quickly guessed that some mischief was brewing and,fetching a piece of white chalk,marked two or three doors on each side,without saying anything to her master or mistress.
Pg. 95- She then told her fellow slave,Abdallah, to make some broth for her master, who had gone to bed.
Pg. 95- Any other slave but Morgiana, on finding a man in the jar instead of the oil she wanted, would have screamed and called for help.
Pg. 95- But she,knowing the danger her master was in, bethought herself of a plan and answered quietly,”Not yet, but presently.”
Pg. 95- Morgiana now saw that her master, thinking he was entertaining an oil merchant, had let thirty-eight robbers into his house.
Pg. 96-97- They then buried the bodies in Ali Baba's garden, while the mules were sold in the market by his slaves.
Pg. 98- “I am not surprised,” she said to herself,”that this wicked man who intends to kill my master will eat no salt with him, but I will hinder his plans.”
Pg. 98-She said to Abdallah,”Take your tambourine, and let us go and divert our masters and their guest,”
Pg. 99- After she performed several dances she drew a dagger and made passes with it, sometimes pointing it at her own breast, sometimes at her masters', as if it were part of the dance.
Pg. 99- Suddenly, out of breath, she snatched the tambourine from Abdallah with her left hand and held it out to her master,clutching the dagger in her right.
Pg. 99- “It was to preserve you,master,not to ruin you,” answered Morgiana.
Pg. 112-114- Now the old woman, who was out spreading the hay, began to think dinner was long in coming, and said to the women and the mowers,”Though the master does not call us home,we may as well go.
Why The Sea Is Salt
Pg. 124- Now the cat was master of the house, and the Hen was mistress, and they always said,”We, and the world” for they imagined themselves to be not only half the world, but by far the better half.
Jack And The Beanstalk
Pg. 135- The old nurse died, leaving her cottage and its few articles of furniture to her poor mistress, who lived in it, working as a peasant for her daily bread.
Pg. 143- And the harp played a sweet lullaby, and at the sound its master fell asleep.
Pg. 143- But as he jumped over the threshold the harp called out loudly,”Master! Master!”
Pg. 143- Jack was very nimble and he fled like lighting with the harp, talking to it as he went, for he saw it wa a fairy, and told it he was the son of its old master, the knight.
Pg. 145- He is the son of your kind old master, the knight.
The Snow Queen
Pg. 174- The Snow Queen had said,”If you can spell out that word you will be your own master.
Pg. 175- When they grew tired,Kay and Gerda lay down, and as they slept they melted the ice, forming the word that the Snow Queen had said Kay must spell in order to become his own master.
The Hedgehog And The Rabbit
Pg. 185- She had to obey whether she wanted to or not, and as they waddled along side by side, the Hedgehog said to her,”Now listen well to what I'm telling you.
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Pg. 205- Have you a master?”
Pg. 206- While he was pondering over this, his new master was leading him into the heart of a deep forest.
Pg. 208- The boy memorized all these tricks of the magician carefully, and it was not long before he sometimes was able to figure out what kind of charms his master was working, what brand of potion he was mixing, what sort of stews he was brewing.
Pg. 209- The boy hurried through his work and had just settled down with a large conjuring book on his knees, when the master returned unexpectedly.
Pg. 210- But the master was equal to this, for with a few words he made himself into a fish too, a big one, and swam after the little one.
The Little Mermaid
Pg. 241- Beautiful slave girls, dressed in silk and gold, came before them and sang for the Prince and his royal parents.
Pg. 241-242- The slave girls now danced gracefully to the accompaniment of the loveliest music imaginable, and then the little mermaid lifted her pretty white arms and,rising on the tips of her toes, flitted across the floor, dancing as no one had ever danced before.
Pg. 242- With each of her movements her beauty became more and more evident, and her eyes spoke more deeply to the heart than the song of the slave girls.
Five Wise Words
Pg. 252- So he turned his face of all towards his master's hut and, before the sun was well up, was knocking at his door.
Pg. 261- The old officer thought these instructions rather odd, but it was no business of his, so he saluted and went off to do his master's bidding.
Pg. 263- Feeling much ashamed for having forgotten his errand, he jumped up and hurried out to meet his master, who reined in his horse and seemed very surprised(as indeed he was) to see him.
The Goose Girl
Pg. 267- And to this too the Princess had to submit.
The Town Mouse and The Country Mouse
Pg. 302- “The master of the house is a bailiff, and he is very strict indeed.”
Pg. 305- “Heaven preserve me from having such a fine place and such a master!
The Bronze Ring
Pg. 348- The next day, the gardener's son heard a great noise in the street, and the King's heralds passed, blowing all kinds of instruments and crying:”The King, our master, is old and infirm.
Pg. 350- Then he said,”Bronze ring,obey thy master.
Pg. 352- When they reached the palace, the gardener's son made a sign to his slaves, who completely undressed the newcomer.
Pg. 352- “Make this ring red hot,”commanded the master,”and mark the man with it upon his back.”
Pg. 352- The slaves obeyed him.
Pg. 352- And, going out, he took the bronze ring and said:”Bronze ring,obey thy master.
Pg. 354- “Sire,”said the young captain,”order him to be stripped and see if the mark of my ring is not branded upon his back.”
Pg. 356- The Princess heard him and sent out one of her slaves, who said to the old man,”What will you take for your fishes?”
Pg. 356- The slave went back to her mistress.
Pg. 356- The slave found the bronze ring which the Princess' husband had accidentally left behind.
Pg. 356- Hardly had he reached his own house when, taking the ring, he said,”Bronze ring, obey thy master.
Pg. 360- “Bronze ring,”commanded the young man,”obey thy master once again.
The Boy Who Kept A Secret
Pg. 374- “My master bids me say,”said the messenger, bowing low,”that if you cannot tell him which of these three canes grows nearest the root,which in the middle, and which at the top, he will declare war against you.”
Puss and Boots
Pg. 394- These remarks were overheard by Puss, who pretended not to have been listening, and said very soberly and seriously,”There is not the least need for you to worry about your share Master.
Pg. 394- Therefore his new master felt some hope of being assisted in his miserable plight.
Pg. 394- A stupid young rabbit went into the pouch, and Master Puss, pulling the cords tight, killed him on the instant.
Pg. 395- He entered the royal apartment and bowed profoundly to the King,”I bring you,sire,”said he,”a rabbit from the warren of Marquis of Carabas (such was the title he invented for his master), which I am bidden to present to you on his behalf.”
Pg. 395- “Tell your master,”replied the King,”that I thank him and am pleased by his attention.”
Pg. 395- For two or three months Puss went on in his way, every now and again taking to the King, as a present from his master, some game which he had caught.
Pg. 395- “If you will do as I tell you,”said Puss to his master,”your fortune is made.
Pg.397- While they were pulling the poor Marquis out of the river, Puss approached the carriage and explained to the King that while his master was bathing robbers had come and taken away his clothes, though he had cried “Stop,thief!” at the top of his voice.
Pg. 399- Finally Master Puss reached a splendid castle, which belong to an ogre.
Billy Beg and His Bull
Pg. 416- Next morning his master told Billy that something must of happened to one of the giants, for he used to hear the cries of the three every night, but the night before he had heard only two crying.
Pg. 417- If the master was surprised of seeing Billy come back the night before, he was ten times more surprised at seeing him now.
Pg. 420- But when Billy found them all gone, he saddled and bridled the best black horse his master had, put on the best suit of clothes he could find in his master's house and rode off to fight after the rest.
Pg. 421- When Billy got home, he changed his clothes and had the horse in the stable and the animals all in before his master arrived.
Pg. 421- The master began telling Billy about the wonderful day, and about the warrior hiding in the well of water, and about the grand stranger who had come down out of the sky in a cloud, riding on a black horse, and had killed the fiery dragon and then vanished into a cloud again.
The Shoemaker and the Elves
Pg. 465- They were so neatly sewn that not a stitch was out of place, and were as good as the work of a master.
Dick Whittington and His Cat
Pg. 485- At last, Miss Alice, his master's daughter, was informed of this and took compassion on the boy and made the servants treat him kindly.
Pg. 485- There was, by order of his master, a lumpy bed placed for him in a garret, but rats and mice often ran over the poor boy's nose and disturbed him in his sleep.
Pg. 485- After some time, however, a gentleman who came to his master's house gave Whittington a penny for brushing his shoes.
Pg. 492- He then sent for Mr. Whittington, who was cleaning the kitchen and would have excused himself from going into the counting house, saying his master's room was swept and his shoes were dirty and full of hobnails.
Pg. 492- Upon which, thinking they intended to make sport of him, as had been too often the case in the kitchen, he besought his master not to mock a poor simple fellow who intended no harm, but let him go about his work.
Pg. 493- He then laid all the treasure at his master's feet, but Mr. Fitzwarren refused to take any part of it and told Dick he heartily rejoiced at his prosperity and hoped the wealth he had acquired would be a comfort to him and would make him happy.
Pg. 493- Dick Whittington then applied to his mistress and to his friend Miss Alice, who both refused to take any part of the money, but Miss Alice told him she was gladdened by his good success and wished him all felicity.
Aladdin and the Wonderful Lamp
Pg. 507- I am the slave of the ring and will obey thee in all things.”
Pg. 510- “Master, I obey,”said the genie.
Pg. 512-The Sultan then turned to Aladdin's mother, saying,”Good woman, a Sultan must remember his promises and I will remember mine, but your son must first give me forty basins of gold brimful of jewels, carried by forty black slaves, led by as many white ones, splendidly dressed.
Pg. 513-But he first called the genie, and in a few moments the eighty slaves arrived and filled up the small house and garden.
Pg. 513- But he first called the genie,”I want a scented bath,” he ordered,”and a richly embroidered robe, a horse surpassing the Sultan's and twenty slaves, beautifully dressed, to wait on my mother;and lastly, ten thousand pieces of gold in ten purses.”
Pg. 513- No sooner said than done,Aladdin mounted his horse and passed through the streets, the slaves strewing gold as they went.
Pg. 514- There must be stables and horses and grooms and slaves.
Pg. 514- Aladdin's mother then dressed herself carefully and walked to the palace with her slaves.
Pg. 514- That night the Princess said good-bye to her father and set out on the carpet for Aladdin's palace, his mother beside her, and followed by one hundred slaves.
Pg. 517- The Princess, sitting in the hall of four-and-twenty windows, sent a slave to find out what the noise was about.
Pg. 517- “The slave came back laughing, so the Princess scolded her.
Pg. 517- “Madam,” replied the slave,”who can help laughing to see an old fool offering to exchange fine new lamps for old ones?”
Pg. 517- Another slave, hearing this, said,”There is an old one on the cornice there which he can have.”
Pg. 517- The Princess,not knowing its value,laughingly bade the slave take it and make the exchange.
Pg. 517- He snatched it and bade the slave take her choice, amid the jeers of the crowd.
Pg. 519- “I am only the slave of the ring;for that you must ask the slave of the lamp.”
Pg. 523- When he reached the palace there was such a noise that the Princess bade her slave look out the window and ask what was the matter.
Pg. 523-The slave said it was the holy woman, curing people of their ailments by her touch, where upon the Princess, who had long desired to see Fatima, sent for her.
Pg. 524- “Wretch,” he cried,”is it not enough that I have done everything for you, but you must command me to bring my master and hang him up in the midst of this dome?
The Golden-Headed Fish
Pg. 538- For a hundred days I will wait here, but if at the end of that time the fish should still not be caught, I must return to my own master.”
Pg. 541- “If my master can succeed in killing the monster, what reward will you give him?”asked he.
Pg. 542-These he carried to his master,bidding him show them to the Governor and declare that he himself, had killed the monster.
Pg. 548- “No, my master, never could I wish to leave you!
The Brave Little Tailor
Pg. 572- She little knew that one of the tailor's servants had overheard their cruel plot and had carried the news straight to his master.
A Horned Goat
Pg. 580- Do you think a tailor is afraid of a Goat?” shouted the master.
Pg. 588- I had one war with my master for killing his lamb and another war with my mistress for the lard she did not lock up in time.
Pg. 599- “I see that each of you is indeed a master of his trade.
The Musicians of Bremen
Pg. 631- So his master began to consider how much he could get for the Donkey's skin, but the beast, perceiving that something was up, ran away along the road to Bremen.
Pg.631- I can no longer run with the hunt, and my master has almost beaten me to death.
Pg. 632-”Because I am growing old, and my teeth are all worn to stumps, and because I would rather sit by the fire than run after mice, my mistress wanted to drown me; and so I ran away.
Pg. 632-”But important guests are coming for Sunday dinner tomorrow and my mistress has told me the cook to make me into soup.
Pg. 636- Then the robber ran back as fast as he could to his captain and cried,”Ah, my master, there dwells a horrible witch in the house, who spat on me and scratched my face with her long nails.
Pg. 638- In short, everything went so well that the younger daughter began to think the master of the house was an agreeable gentleman after all.
Pg. 644- Blue Beard's wife became mistress of all his estate.
Pg. 668- The minute she touched them they all fell asleep that they might not awake before their mistress and might be ready to wait upon her when she wanted them.
The Magic Carpet
Pg. 674- As the three Princes were always submissive and obedient to the Sultan's will and flattered themselves that Fortune might prove favorable to them, they consented.
Pg. 674- Accordingly, they set out the next morning from the same gate of the city, each outfitted like a merchant, attended by an aide dressed like a slave, and all well mounted and equipped.
Pg. 682- “Sir,”said the peddler, putting it into his hand,”if you look at the outside of this apple it seems worthless, but if you consider the great use and benefit it is to mankind, you will say thirty-five purses of gold is no price for it and that he who possessed it is master of a great treasure.
Pg. 689- Advancing into a spacious area he perceived a magnificent palace, which he had not then time enough to look at, for at the same moment a lady of majestic bearing appeared at the entrance, attended by a group of ladies so finely dressed and beautiful that it was difficult to distinguish which was the mistress.
Pg. 691- “Madam,”replied he,”if all my life I should have the happiness of being your slave and the admirer of the many charms which ravish my soul, I should think myself the most blessed of men.
Pg. 704- Nourgihan returned presently with the tent, which she could hold in the palm of her hand when she shut her fingers, and presented it to her mistress, who gave it to Prince Ahmed to look at.
Pg. 714- But that Prince thought himself so happy in his solitude that he bade the officer give his brother thanks for the kindness he offered him, assuring the new Sultan of his submission and that the only favor he desired was to be given leave to live in retirement in the place he had chosen for his retreat.
Sindbad The Sailor
Pg. 770- To satisfy his curiosity he went up to one of the splendidly dressed servants who stood outside the door and asked the name of the master of the mansion.
Pg. 771- The noble Sindbad my master, wishes to speak to you.”
Pg. 774- I told him my adventures and heard in return that he was one of the grooms of Mihrage, the King of the island, and that each year they came to feed their master's horses on this plain.
Pg. 774-775- When I had eaten the food they set before me, they bade me think myself fortunate to have come upon them when I did, since they were going back to their master, the king, on the following day and without their aid I could certainly never have found my way, alone, to the inhabited part of the island.
Pg. 778- I bought land and slaves, and built a great house in which I resolved to live happily and, in the enjoyment of all the pleasures of life, to forget my past sufferings.
Pg. 820- The presents consisted of a vase carved from a single ruby, six inches high and as thick as my finger; this was filled with the choicest pearls, large and of perfect shape of luster;secondly, a huge snakeskin which would preserve from sickness those who slept upon it;then quantities of aloes wood, camphor and pistachio nuts;and,lastly,a beautiful slave girl,whose robes glittered with precious stones.
Pg. 820- Taking the King's letter I presented myself at the palace gate, followed by the beautiful slave and a various members of my own family, bearing the treasure.
Pg. 824- When they had despoiled us of all we possessed, they forced us to put on vile raiment and, sailing to a distant island, there sold us for slaves.
Pg. 824- When we had reached the wildest part of the forest, we stopped, and my master said,”This forest swarms with elephants.
Pg. 825- The others retreated, leaving me free to come down from my hiding place and run back to tell my master of my success, for which I was praised and regaled with good things.
Pg. 825- Then we went back to the forest together and dug a mighty trench we buried the elephant I had killed, in order that when it became a skeleton my master might return and secure its tusks.
Pg. 826-After a day and a night I reached my master's house and was received by him with joyful surprise.
Pg. 826-827- When we had loaded our elephant with as many tusks as it could carry and were going back to the city, he said:”My brother-since I can no longer treat as a slave one who has enriched me this- take your liberty and many Heaven prosper you.
Pg. 827- I will no longer conceal from you that these elephants have killed numbers of our slaves.
Pg. 827- When the ships finally arrived, my master put on board for me a great store of choice provisions, also ivory in abundance and some of the costliest curiosities of the country.