About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

January 30, 2012

Learning about E/each O/other flaws...

Well, i had a very good talk with Daddy today. It has been a while since W/we talked like that. Well today it was about E/each O/other flaws. At first when He was talking about mine, i was really upset in the beginning. I thought of myself as a monster and such. And i really cried on that.

But, as He kept talking, i accepted that i need to learn about my flaws. I know i don't like hearing about them, but He was doing it in a nice way. He wants me to be better, and He thought that if He told me them, then it would get me to change a lot. So, W/we talked about E/each O/other flaws. 

He told me what He thinks i need to change on. Which as He stated is all the ones i see, but a few i didn't. He says i need to learn how to improve myself without Him, in ways, need to learn things without saying i cant do that.Which i have had that problem ever since i was a girl. I don't like that flaw of mine and as i told Him, i don't know how to begin with that one. 

Also, how i am one way with my mother and another with other people. And i think with that, is that i have to always be so cold towards my mother. Each time i have talked to her, i have to put my walls back up and keep everything about me to myself. Just how it has to be. He tells me i need to be myself towards everyone, and like i said, to Him, it is very hard. He has never gone through it, so it is hard to express my thoughts and emotions to Him but i try my hardest on it. 

Of course other things, is not to be so damn emotional, to the point that He or anyone cant talk to me until i am calmed down. I am trying to change so much at once, i think, that i cant see how to improve with a beginning. But, i think that goes with the hardest things you have to change with yourself, is not knowing how to change, but try. 

Um, with that, He wanted to know what His flaws were, so i told Him. Of course His is not as long as mine, but still some major points. Like, listening to me more on things, like when to stop trying to fix things and to not see me as a child, like He did in the beginning of this relationship. 
 Other things is when He gets into things, He gets so obsessed to the point of not talking to me, eating and etc. And that was mostly it with Him.

Then i thought, well what about U/us as a whole. There are things to be improved on that, and He said, yea. Like, more communication than what is there. And i think that is true. When He gets mad at me, He doesn't talk to me right then and there. He lets it sit until the next day, and i don't like that one bit. I told Him, that family would do that, especially with punishment and what not, and would planned things. I told Him that this is a problem for me as well. To know that He would never do that, but i hate that the feelings are there. I was taught differently than He was, and with that, I am more upfront when things come up, while He waits to talk about it. 
 And that is why, W/we need more communication, is to make up sooner than letting the emotions get embedded in E/each O/other that it takes more time to make up than necessary. 

Also, that W/we need to do something maybe together. Like, maybe talking more so, and what not. But all and all, it was a very good conversation that W/we had. It felt really good to do that again. It felt like everything was back to normal and now what has been going on for a while now. Until next time....

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