About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

February 28, 2012

People are just on power trips and such....

me:so do you still think im your friend, or what?
nate:i dunno wat to think anymore i try so hard with people and yet get back stabbed
me:and how did i back stab?
me:that is what i dont get
me:thats one thing that pisses me off, is people think im one way, or say i did something that i havent. and i wont have them as friends if that is what they are going to always assume
me:ive been in abuse all my life and i wont stand for that anymore
me:that is why i pmed you and asked that
nate:well in the room u seemed like u turned on me i guess the first reaciton to it is to act how i feel or see it
me:and how did i turn on you?
me:i didnt even do that at all
me:but if you are going to keep assuming things like that, i think it is best we are not friends
nate:ur like "shame on u" and tell ing me tshut up and shit like that
me:im not going to live in fear, or think or have to
me:always say what i have done and such
me:i have the damn thing and i did not say anything like that
me:i told both of you to shut it on the damn drama and such
me:if it was something else, i wouldnt of said anything
nate:ok tehn now i know im horrible beacuse ur yelling at me well the vibe im getting
me:im getting pissed off because you are saying that i turned on you when i clearly didnt
me:and im not going to stand for that at all
me:ive had it all my life
me:and im not going to have it anymore
nate:why if ur in abuse why not change it
me:i am changing it
me:that is what i am saying
me:im not going to have people
me:who say things that are not true at all
me:im not going to live in fear anymore and have to defend myself all the damn time
me:im not having it, is what i am saying
me:i had it all my life, and now it is going to stop
me:that is the whole reason why i pmed you
nate:ok tehn well u was getting mad at me so i took the way i would take it normally when people mad at me i shut off and shut down
me:to ask if we are friends and such
me:im not really mad at all
me:i was getting annoyed at the whole damn drama going on in that room
me:and it's best that both parties shut up
me:or take it to pm
me:and that is exactly what i said
me:nothing is out of person with me
nate:ok ..
me:so one more question, are you always going to be like this? that each time things come up i have to defend myself over ever little thing?
nate:i dunno depends on the situation and how i feel at the time i supose
me:okay, that makes up my mind. Sorry but you are going to come off the list. i cant be around people like this at all. Sorry but bye

Well this is sorta continued with the other thing, but in pm instead. I wanted to get this out and see what people intentions are. I'm not going to have people on my list if they are not wanting to be friends and such. I am here to make friends and to chit chat. But if you are here to collect and think I'm not your friend, what is the whole point of having me on your list? 

That is one thing i don't understand about people on wire club or even in the real world with that. They just want to collect and collect and be happy just to seem like they have so many friends and that they are happy when in reality they don't have friends at all and are not happy as well. So why put on a facade? I don't see the point in doing that all the time. 

As i stated in this conversation that i will not do that any longer. i did that long ago when i had too and i hated every ounce of that. I will no longer do that, and i will be myself. If you don't like it, and accuse me of being a bitch or being a back stabber, then i think it is best that we are not friends at all. I even said that in this conversation as well. 

What i say online is no different than what i say in the real world. Yea, i may be a bit more bold here, but everything that i state, i state in the real world as well. Nothing changes with me, but i may have to keep my mouth shut, only because i have to for Daddy. But with that, as you can see. my personality and stuff does not change one ounce. 

So it makes me really mad that people will think this of me, and accuse me of something i have not done. I wanted to get under way of what was going on. Again, part of my nature, as i need to know what people's intentions are. I don't like being passive aggressive to anything. I like to be in your face with everything. I say things to your face, not behind your back. 

And that is what i did in the chat room. I do not like people saying they are going to kill themselves all because of stupid drama and wanting attention. That isn't going to happen with me and i said it. Someone took it way out of proportion and you know what, it just made him be a bitch. Because i will not stand for it at all. And i will tell it to your face, which i did in the room. 

What i do not like is being accused. And i told him, why i was so pissed and annoyed at him. It's because my family has done it all my life. I had to fear them always accusing me of things, things i didn't do at all and etc. I am not going to live in fear any longer. 

I am out of that damn house, and maybe in another abusive home, but i can be me, and not have to worry about fearing so much. If you don't like it at all, then you can kiss my ass and go your own way. I'm not having it anymore. And he did that and i had to ask if he was going to keep doing that, and he said it depends. Then i had to said, it's over. Because if you have to say it depends on whatever it is, then i should not be your friend at all. And from there, he kept pming me. And finally i just ignored his ass.

I am tired of all the drama queens and attention whores out there. If you come my way and try to start shit, you better back it up. I'm done with a lot of shit. On the Internet and in the real world. Ever since i was going to get kicked out, the uncle here has made me snap and I'm not a nice person to be around any longer. And you wonder why. Well Until next time....

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