About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

April 15, 2012

A rant i written earlier.....

But im just tired of us compromising to death, while they dont have to. She hates people doing things behind her back, but she is doing things behind my back and it's really pissing me off. I feel like snapping, because i hate people washing things that dont need to be washed at all. I'm tired of people doing things that were never done. Like with the oven and such. 

I just feel like i have ocd, because i like the things they are. I dont like people touching my stuff and cleaning it. It makes me feel and their actions show that hey im not an adult, im just a child and you have to do everything for me. I'm getting pretty much tired of that. And she is just triggering shit one after another. Just like my mother and then going to put it back in the oven. It's very dangerous to have things in there and especially foil. I dont get what people think when they do stuff.
I'm trying my hardest to keep my mouth shut. But it seems its getting bad again for me. I think what started it was your uncle. Saying the we mouse again. When it was just for him and susie. Im getting tired of that. And then her cleaning things that dont need it, drives me fucking crazy. And then get a bit upset or so because i move them because i fucking hate it in the oven. Seriously, i dont know how much i can take of this. Sigh. 

And then on top of that, i have to keep my mouth quiet and write it on the computer, is really fucking hard for me. Im the type of person to get in your face or come to you and tell you off. But since this fucking family is not like mine, i have to be like a fucking quiet mouse and i truly hate it. As you can see, im pretty much pissed and of course feeling like im right back at my family's place. Triggers that are happening because people are dumb asses and such.

She hasnt been here for a month and already i just want to cuss her out. And then got into one altercation. I really dont know what God wants from me. But like i told Daddy, i cant go through this again. I seriously cant do this again. I cant be a damn puppet to appease people who are very fucking unstable. I cant hide who i am any longer. 

That was a reason why i left. Well one of many reasons, and of course im right back in it. 

Sigh, i just dont know what to do anymore. But i cant keep feeling like this. This anger that pops up when she does something that really gets on my fucking nerves. 
She told me, when we got into the fight, that i have to run things by her. Like this was her house all along. And then said she hates people doing things behind her back, yet she is doing all this shit. 

With the dishes, touching my stuff and not putting it back where i had it, then she brought her dogs, after W/we told them no. Then bringing them in when im really sick. And on top of that, trying to put paper towel down the toilet, when it shouldnt go in there.And of course im running a fever, been sick for about a week and a half and i have to keep my mouth shut. I have to appease her so she wont get mad. And her being a damn drunk. 
No thank you, im not going to do that. Im a grown adult, but i guess people dont fucking see it as that. Sigh, Just need out of this damn place. Okay guess im done now. Sigh

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