About Me

My photo
I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

May 15, 2012

My dreams as of lately....

For some reason God wants me to share this. Um before i post the dreams, i want to say, is that just today i got this awful feeling. I mean its in the pit of my stomach, I'm light headed, wanting to throw up, and crying. I feel like He wants me to say something, or to throw out my dreams and someone will see this that needs to see this. But here we go......

Like a day beforehand, i had another miscarriage. I was pregnant and i lost the baby. Was cramping really bad and a lot of blood and clots with it. 

Now with that one, it was scary, i went and checked and i was bleeding a lot. I don't do that really on my last days of my periods.

Then today i had another one. Sigh, i remember in the beginning me and Daddy were on a train going to my grandparents place. i was antsy as i didn't want to go but i had to. Was on the train for a couple of days, i was getting sleepy and fell asleep for a while. Got up and went with Daddy and got coffee. 
 From there it jumped to this house, and W/we were in the bathroom taking a bath. The bathroom was a bit different. The tub was in the middle of the room and was up a bit. And Daddy got out for some reason and i thought why not masturbate. So i did, and right after that, i was cramping really bad. So i thought of wiping to see what was going on. And a lot of blood and clots were coming out of me, but wasn't changing the bath water at all. I was crying a bit, and i did it again and i saw hair, and a face. It freaked me out and i was panicking a bit and crying. I lost the baby again. 

And then today, or i should say last night. I had it again, but it was a bit different. I was pregnant and i was doing pretty good. I was probably about five or six months along and i was with Daddy/fiancee and W/we were going somewhere on the bus. Then all of a sudden i felt that cramping feeling and this gush of blood/water came out, and then the baby came out. I just heard it plop on the ground and from there, i wasn't sad, but a bit worried. From there i put it in a bag, but it was only the head this time. That is all i remember of this dream.

I don't know what is going on. All i do know is God wants me to show this for a reason. Maybe to get some answers to this, or to warn someone or something. But I'm having awful pain with this one. I wake up sobbing my eyes out, I'm cramping for hours on end, waking Daddy up and He just cuddles with me saying it will be okay and then it dissipates. 

It scares me each time i have this. As there is physical and then emotional/mental emotions/feelings to it. I will mourn/sad for days on end for something i never had and I'm not sure why. I feel like with my other dream. My baby died and W/we covered it up and no sooner did i have that dream, something awful happened in Japan. I'm hoping this is not the case with these dreams, but i feel something awful with this one. I can feel it in my bones, and i hate to say that. As these are horrible dreams. So bad i don't want to sleep at all, just in case they come back. 

I tried thinking okay maybe it is something going inside of me, as i had it once and that was the end of it. But I'm having it all the time, in different ways, but the feelings are the same, so i know for sure it is not about me. Sigh I just don't know what to do anymore. Sigh Until next time...

No comments:

Post a Comment