About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

May 22, 2012

My testimony on how i came to God. :)

I really don't open myself up to this, but i feel like God wants me to do this. Um this is my testimony of coming to God and how He has worked in my life. 

Since the time i was born i was abused emotionally/mentally and physically by my family. And with that others sexually abused me. I have never known God all my life, but i heard my grandma talk about Him all the time, and at that young age, i thought He was just another human being. I felt like i had no one in my life when all of this stuff was going on. 

I felt like i was on my own, but then at times, i felt like i wasn't. I heard that i could pray to God all i wanted and i thought why not. So i started praying without ever really knowing God probably at the age of nine. At first i thought it was silly, as i thought no one heard my pleading prayers of getting out of this horrible life. And when time kept going, i just kept praying and thinking maybe someone will hear one day. So i kept praying about different things and it led to me, one day thinking, why not just talk to God. maybe He hears me no matter what, and this is without really knowing Him as my savior or on a personal level. I was hurting so much i needed someone in my life and i thought who else? 

Years went on, the abuse, mental and physical kept going, but would die down some, but it never went away.And at first with all of this being new to me, i was angry at Him for letting the abuse to go on for so long, and asked why He hasn't helped and why He didn't stop it. And i was upset for a long time and i didn't understand why He didn't help in any way. Until one day in 2006, my family went to church and i prayed for Him to come into my life and to take away the burdens that have been on me for so long, and that is when i felt God's presence in my life. He told me, that He has always kept His promise to me, and to always hold onto that. With that, i gave my life to Him, i started building a personal relationship with Him. When things got really bad in the house, i would always cry to Him.

I always asked, i want someone who would love me for who i am, and not be in this type of environment. And a year later, He answered my prayer. My fiancee came into my life, with God's help, knocking down so many walls, knocking down so many doubts i had in my life. And God showed me that he was the one for me. And he was going to help me. And sure enough, in 2008 when my mother threaten to kill me, i finally left that environment. 

And now, me and God have a very strong relationship, but that still grows all the time. I still have hardships, as you see, with this place, not being so great right now, but for some reason God wants us to be here and have to wait when He helps us again. And with each hardship i go through now, i look back on my past when i was so angry at Him for not helping, i thank Him for not intervening at those times because it has made me a strong person, and having faith in God. 

Each step now, is a little hard now, but it wont be as hard as it was in the past. And with family still tracking me, to other things, i know God will cast these people out of my life, and help Us out of our darkness and have a good life. I would like to say this, if you blame God for something that is going on in your life, maybe you should reflect and think that it is free will and that it is human beings who are doing the things in your life, that makes you very miserable and so forth. God has told us, when we come to Him through Jesus, that He will never forsake us. 

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