About Me

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I'm 23 now; In the BDSM lifestyle for four- almost five years now. I am a 24/7 slave with a wonderful Daddy/fiancee: who is artcomet.blogspot.com. But as you will see in this blog are the emotions that I go through each and every day- in and out of the lifestyle. This is to show how much I've grown and bonded with my Daddy, how I've dealt with 'the world", and how I dealt with people in the BDSM lifestyle; Enjoy.

April 12, 2013

Journal on homeless, thoughts day one or two...

April 12,2013

I think this is pretty funny. See W/we went homeless back in 2012, well there was quite a bit of people who went homeless with U/us. And W/we know who these people are. Ever since W/we got out of being homeless, i mainly me have enemies, which i think is funny because i didnt do anything to become an enemy but somehow i did. Go figure? Huh?

Well, today, i see some of the people, and they look at me like im still homeless and they are better than me. But what they dont realize is that im far better off than i was about what seven/eight months ago. While their lives are still on hold or just becoming worse. 

I just think it is funny, that they hate me so much. I mean, i dont see them in good light as well, but that is because of what they did to me. I had one girl, who seems to be my arch enemy, only talked to me and hung out when she had no one else to talk to or to fuck really. Im sorry, if you guys know me, which i know a few of you who does, i do not do well with these type of people. People who have a dogs personality basically, who goes from one person to the next, i dont mesh well with at all. And they knew i wouldnt be like this. 

Another girl, who was pregnant and had a husband, couldnt hack it without him in the womans dorm, when i had to do the same thing, due to not being married and this place W/we were at said W/we were sinning. So W/we had to be seperated for a month to get by.(Which that was one of my main worries, back then. But i became stronger in the end, thanks to God) And i think they hate me because me and Daddy are so much stronger because of this. 

What they dont understand is that, O/our relationship has always had hardships, right from the beginning. So W/we are use to helping O/one A/another in these types of ordeals. W/we become stronger and stronger, and i think they hate that.

Throughout being homeless, had a couple of other people get mad at U/us as well and hated O/our bond with O/one A/another. W/we were called super couple, as to W/we walked everywhere with O/one A/another, during this. What they dont know, is O/our relationship and the lifestyle that W/we lead. They just see U/us being together twenty four seven, which W/we are use to anyways.

But what they dont see, is W/we do fight, W/we do get into arguments that last a while, and the heartbreak that goes with it. The struggles with the lifestyle, but of course this is all hidden, and with that, W/we have people who hate that, and call U/us a perfect couple. Which i seriously hate. W/we are not perfect at all. What i do know, is what W/we went through was because God wanted U/us to go through it, to be stronger with Him and with U/us. 

And sometimes in my journal entries it does seem that W/we may break up, it is rocky and shaky to the point that this relationship is doomed, but W/we bounce back from this ten times more. W/we become stronger with each hardship that hits U/us, and makes U/us love one another more and more as the years go by. 

I just think it is funny, that homeless people are one of the most picky people out there and i can see why most people wont help homeless out. But there is another side to it, its hard, stressful and what not. 
And with that comes with people calling you names, getting hit with food, drinks and verbal assualts. 

Like when W/we first got O/our apartment, me and Daddy are so happy with it, and pissed me off, as W/we needed help to bring up O/our bed and tv and what not up to the apartment as W/we didnt have an elevator at the time, and had some people from the homeless place W/we were at, say, are you sure you are going to be okay here? Its smaller than HB. I just get so mad, because this came from God, this all came from Him, and they have to do that. When i give thanks to a home, a HOME OF MY OWN, THANKS TO GOD. And they have to do that? I clenched my teeth and said yes, this is what God wants U/us to do, and im doing it with a happy heart. 

And i still do. All the memories that course through me when i have to look down the bridge going to albertsons, pangs hit me, but i still sing for God, i praise Him for helping U/us because stronger and getting out of a horrible situation. But those memories will never leave, and my eyes will never be the same ever again. 

Would i go through this again? No, if it was my own choice, i would just go homeless on the streets, but if God wanted me to go through the programs again, i would gladly do it for Him and for Him only. There are only two people in my life, i will do things like this as an example and to better myself and that is God(of course without a shadow of a doubt) and Daddy/fiancee.

Anyways, with that, i can see why so many people hate homeless people. They have nothing yet they are so freaking picky on where they live, what they eat, what type of clothes they get and so forth when in reality they should be happy to get what they get at that point in time.

Will i live here for the rest of my life? The answer is simply no. This is not me and Daddy's dream, nor do i feel that it is God's. Right now, it is a home, a safe haven for the time being. It is O/our place for the time being, but not a permanent home. This is God's way of showing U/us that W/we can be on O/our own, and sooner or later in His time, will W/we get O/our home, O/our family and other dreams W/we have dreamt up for so long. 

When i got this place, i couldnt help but bawl my eyes out like im doing right now. I thank God so much, for this, because this is a sliver of O/our dreams come true. When W/we got this place, oh my gosh, it felt so surreal, and each time i come home, yes im saying HOME. I feel so happy so elated and feel at peace with this. And each time i thank God for this. 

You can see i cant stop it, because He and of course Daddy have been the constant thing in my life, that HAS NEVER LET ME DOWN. And im happy to say and glad that they are both in my life. With that, dont know if you can see, im pretty much happy today. 
I dont know what it means, but to feel so free, so unburden feels so wonderful. I know its not going to last long, but im enjoying it for the time being. I know W/we have many more hardships to go through, but i know one day all of O/our dreams will come true. Just gotta rely and believe in God's will and He will tell U/us when it is O/our time for these dreams to come true.  

I guess that is all i have to say for the time being. Until next time....
Ashpea/slave/wife........

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